It's been two weeks of awful video games....
I recently signed up for PS+ and in doing so got access to several free games...my brother also has a habit of renting awful games on redbox...
Now, before I get into the bullshit, I will say I got one good game out of the last two weeks... Uncharted 3... for a linear game it was really fun, with a pretty good story, passable gameplay, and excellent voice acting... In fact, the voice acting was positively superb, the jokes had excellent timing and personalities really shown throuigh. Though in the end the gameplay was pretty much identical to the latest Tomb Raider... The only complaint I had was that multi-player seemed really out of place in a game like this with the gameplay mechanics present.
Now with the one good game out of the way........
The first in the slew of awful games was Aliens: Colonial Marines. Now I had heard that the game sucked, but we figured what the hell... it let you play colonial marines, with pulse rifles... except they couldn't even get that part right, with bullshit ammo capacities. Then they went and added some guns that were ok, but felt kind of unnecessary. But of all the weapons, the absolute worst was the pump style shotgun with an underpbarel pump action grenade launcher.... which yeah, looked as stupid as it sounds...
But stupid weapons are a minor thing... you never really have to use them, unless you run out of ammo for some reason. So that much could at least be ignored... Unfortunately the gameplay itself fell victim to every shoddy bullshit mechanic and cliche imaginable. Enemies that didn't spawn until you reached a checkpoint, aliens that were far more resistant to bullets than what was seen in the films, bullshit boss enemies that were invulnerable until "just the right time", story events that proved your character was an idiot (such as letting a guy run around with you with an alien embryo in his chest, yet acting all surprised when it pops out), Running around with a squad who not only can't hit anything for shit, but constantly get in your way, and can't die unless the "story" wills it. I could go on, but there is little point... The only enjoyable parts of the game were fighting other humans, and the little shoutouts to the movies... and it gave Micheal Biehn a job, and resurrected Hicks... so at least there is that.
The next game I tried out was Battlefront, one of the free offerings from PS+. Christ... I slogged through the first few levels of this first person shooter crapfest until I couldn't take it anymore. It too fell prey to bullshit shooter clishes, but even harder, including the worst sin of all. For a game where stealth is a possibility, and in some missions the point, stealth in this game is a concept best thrown out the window. Once the enemies do see you, they always seem to know where you are, even if you are hundreds of meters away and slinking behind some debris, they know right where you are at all times and shoot pretty much unerringly. Meanwhile, you can't even see the fuckers without sacrificing yoruself, sticking your head up long enough to get shot at least once, just to hope you can see where the muzzle flash is coming from. But all that is part and parcel for FPS games... it's just the way they are done, just like they are all straight linear bullshit. Where I decided to call it quits was when you switched to playing a "pilot", well, they called you a pilot, but you were just the navigator/gunner... and the game went from difficult to romper room easy... At that point I couldn't take it anymore, too much bullshit. I am sure this game appeals to someone, but there was just too much bullshit for me to deal with.
Deleting Battlefront from my hard drive after only getting a few levels in, I decided to wash the taste of it out my mouth with something I had been meaning to play for a long time, but never got around to. Jet Set Radio. Now I had heard this game was good, it even had a bit of a cyberpunk vibe to it. Gangs in a futuristic Tokyo, with a funk feel and rollerblading... sounds like some good fun. And goddammit, I was ready for some fun. Unfortunately, Fun is not what I got. Horrible controls, stupid looking characters, cell shaded animation, and worst of all, no violence... Now I am positive that it probably is a great game, if violence is not your thing and you like overly cute twinkle fests with fairly racist characterizations. I barely made it through the tutorial, and didn't make it through the first mission before I decided I could not stand this game.
Nest up was Spartacus: Legends... I had never heard of it, but I dug the show... so I gave it a download. Now I thought Volition and it's bullshit on disk DLC was a despicable money grubbing ploy... holy fuck, Volition is amateur night when it comes to scams... this game is a wanna-be tekken, but with far less moves, and just plain boring progression. Now it did have the nice bonus that if your fighter is killed, he is actually dead... but that goes out the window when you realize you can just buy them back to life.... It ofers a variety of weapons and armor, but it all kinda looks the same, unless youa re willing to spend real money to get shit that is actually useful or subject yoruself to playing endlessly repetitive fights to unlock new gear and weapons which suck just a little bit less than the old stuff, and oh yes, they beg you to spend real money on it... with every non fight screen having an option to take you to the bank where you can spend real money to get fake money, to purchase bullshit. This game is utter crap, but even it isn't the worst offender of DLC money pandering...
The award for worst, most obnoxious DLC pandering and money scamming goes to DUST... which apparently is a first person shooter spin-off of Eve... I downloaded it, and never actually got far enough to fight anything, the minute I looked and saw that the DLC to get money in the game ranged from 50 to 99 dollars a pop I was done... I damn sure am not going to buy fake money with real money, which means I am never going to be able to play and have an enjoyable time in a bullshit game like this.
Luckily at this point, Uncharted 3 finished downloading... and I had a good time with that or 2 and a half days...
Then my brother brought home the latest Resident Evil... now I have never been a fan of the series in the first place, but I had warned him several times that I had heard nothing but bad things about the game, but he had to give it a go. So for the last 3 days I have watched him play (I have standards, I will not play this garbage) this game... and it's worse than I could have possibly imagined. Every shitty aspect of the series is amplified... slow movement, running back and forth over the same small environments over and over again, horrible combat, stupid looking monsters, characters who are idiots and can't see the giant telegraphed plot twists that are so obvious it's painful... But even worse, this game has the stupidest looking supporting characters I have ever seen in a game outside Final Fantasy crap. You main characters companion is a doughy cheese eating surrender monkey who looks like he would be more at home at an all you can eat pancake house than as a commando. But even he is tolerable, what isn't tolerable is the ginger emo twat, who keeps showing up and trying to look tough and mysterious, when really he just looks like he would cry if he skinned his knee, or if he realized how utterly sissy he looked with that stupid god-awful hair cut.
Resident Evil really is the worst francxhise of "Action" games ever... and this is definitely the worst of the series.
Dammit, I was looking for something to tide me over till GTA5.... but nothing is fitting the bill, even the good games I manage to find just don;t have the longevity. Nathan Drake is awesome, but once the game is done, I saw no reason to return to it, much the same as Tomb Raider. Which is the problem with linear games, they are good for one play through for me, than I am just done...
Oh well, the search for something to keep my attention continues.
I recently signed up for PS+ and in doing so got access to several free games...my brother also has a habit of renting awful games on redbox...
Now, before I get into the bullshit, I will say I got one good game out of the last two weeks... Uncharted 3... for a linear game it was really fun, with a pretty good story, passable gameplay, and excellent voice acting... In fact, the voice acting was positively superb, the jokes had excellent timing and personalities really shown throuigh. Though in the end the gameplay was pretty much identical to the latest Tomb Raider... The only complaint I had was that multi-player seemed really out of place in a game like this with the gameplay mechanics present.
Now with the one good game out of the way........
The first in the slew of awful games was Aliens: Colonial Marines. Now I had heard that the game sucked, but we figured what the hell... it let you play colonial marines, with pulse rifles... except they couldn't even get that part right, with bullshit ammo capacities. Then they went and added some guns that were ok, but felt kind of unnecessary. But of all the weapons, the absolute worst was the pump style shotgun with an underpbarel pump action grenade launcher.... which yeah, looked as stupid as it sounds...
But stupid weapons are a minor thing... you never really have to use them, unless you run out of ammo for some reason. So that much could at least be ignored... Unfortunately the gameplay itself fell victim to every shoddy bullshit mechanic and cliche imaginable. Enemies that didn't spawn until you reached a checkpoint, aliens that were far more resistant to bullets than what was seen in the films, bullshit boss enemies that were invulnerable until "just the right time", story events that proved your character was an idiot (such as letting a guy run around with you with an alien embryo in his chest, yet acting all surprised when it pops out), Running around with a squad who not only can't hit anything for shit, but constantly get in your way, and can't die unless the "story" wills it. I could go on, but there is little point... The only enjoyable parts of the game were fighting other humans, and the little shoutouts to the movies... and it gave Micheal Biehn a job, and resurrected Hicks... so at least there is that.
The next game I tried out was Battlefront, one of the free offerings from PS+. Christ... I slogged through the first few levels of this first person shooter crapfest until I couldn't take it anymore. It too fell prey to bullshit shooter clishes, but even harder, including the worst sin of all. For a game where stealth is a possibility, and in some missions the point, stealth in this game is a concept best thrown out the window. Once the enemies do see you, they always seem to know where you are, even if you are hundreds of meters away and slinking behind some debris, they know right where you are at all times and shoot pretty much unerringly. Meanwhile, you can't even see the fuckers without sacrificing yoruself, sticking your head up long enough to get shot at least once, just to hope you can see where the muzzle flash is coming from. But all that is part and parcel for FPS games... it's just the way they are done, just like they are all straight linear bullshit. Where I decided to call it quits was when you switched to playing a "pilot", well, they called you a pilot, but you were just the navigator/gunner... and the game went from difficult to romper room easy... At that point I couldn't take it anymore, too much bullshit. I am sure this game appeals to someone, but there was just too much bullshit for me to deal with.
Deleting Battlefront from my hard drive after only getting a few levels in, I decided to wash the taste of it out my mouth with something I had been meaning to play for a long time, but never got around to. Jet Set Radio. Now I had heard this game was good, it even had a bit of a cyberpunk vibe to it. Gangs in a futuristic Tokyo, with a funk feel and rollerblading... sounds like some good fun. And goddammit, I was ready for some fun. Unfortunately, Fun is not what I got. Horrible controls, stupid looking characters, cell shaded animation, and worst of all, no violence... Now I am positive that it probably is a great game, if violence is not your thing and you like overly cute twinkle fests with fairly racist characterizations. I barely made it through the tutorial, and didn't make it through the first mission before I decided I could not stand this game.
Nest up was Spartacus: Legends... I had never heard of it, but I dug the show... so I gave it a download. Now I thought Volition and it's bullshit on disk DLC was a despicable money grubbing ploy... holy fuck, Volition is amateur night when it comes to scams... this game is a wanna-be tekken, but with far less moves, and just plain boring progression. Now it did have the nice bonus that if your fighter is killed, he is actually dead... but that goes out the window when you realize you can just buy them back to life.... It ofers a variety of weapons and armor, but it all kinda looks the same, unless youa re willing to spend real money to get shit that is actually useful or subject yoruself to playing endlessly repetitive fights to unlock new gear and weapons which suck just a little bit less than the old stuff, and oh yes, they beg you to spend real money on it... with every non fight screen having an option to take you to the bank where you can spend real money to get fake money, to purchase bullshit. This game is utter crap, but even it isn't the worst offender of DLC money pandering...
The award for worst, most obnoxious DLC pandering and money scamming goes to DUST... which apparently is a first person shooter spin-off of Eve... I downloaded it, and never actually got far enough to fight anything, the minute I looked and saw that the DLC to get money in the game ranged from 50 to 99 dollars a pop I was done... I damn sure am not going to buy fake money with real money, which means I am never going to be able to play and have an enjoyable time in a bullshit game like this.
Luckily at this point, Uncharted 3 finished downloading... and I had a good time with that or 2 and a half days...
Then my brother brought home the latest Resident Evil... now I have never been a fan of the series in the first place, but I had warned him several times that I had heard nothing but bad things about the game, but he had to give it a go. So for the last 3 days I have watched him play (I have standards, I will not play this garbage) this game... and it's worse than I could have possibly imagined. Every shitty aspect of the series is amplified... slow movement, running back and forth over the same small environments over and over again, horrible combat, stupid looking monsters, characters who are idiots and can't see the giant telegraphed plot twists that are so obvious it's painful... But even worse, this game has the stupidest looking supporting characters I have ever seen in a game outside Final Fantasy crap. You main characters companion is a doughy cheese eating surrender monkey who looks like he would be more at home at an all you can eat pancake house than as a commando. But even he is tolerable, what isn't tolerable is the ginger emo twat, who keeps showing up and trying to look tough and mysterious, when really he just looks like he would cry if he skinned his knee, or if he realized how utterly sissy he looked with that stupid god-awful hair cut.
Resident Evil really is the worst francxhise of "Action" games ever... and this is definitely the worst of the series.
Dammit, I was looking for something to tide me over till GTA5.... but nothing is fitting the bill, even the good games I manage to find just don;t have the longevity. Nathan Drake is awesome, but once the game is done, I saw no reason to return to it, much the same as Tomb Raider. Which is the problem with linear games, they are good for one play through for me, than I am just done...
Oh well, the search for something to keep my attention continues.
