The Joke Thread

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A man drove a couple of hours to visit his old college buddy and wife . While there they got to drinking and before they knew it they were wasted enough to the point that the man couldn`t drive back home . So the college buddy says to him since we have a queen size bed with plenty of room you can just spend the night here and head back in the morning . So the time came and they went to bed . After about 15 minutes or so the guy felt a light tap on his shoulder then the wife asked "Are you awake" to which he answered "Yes" then followed another question "Would you like to have sex with me ?" . "But wouldn`t your husband mind and wouldn`t we wake him ?" he asked . She replied "No he wouldn`t and besides he`s fast asleep , just pull one of his ass hairs and you`ll see " . So the guy reaches over and pulls out an ass hair and nothing happened . Then he and the wife had sex after which he laid back down . About an hour later she asked if he`d like to do it again . He pulls another as hair and has sex again . This went on about 5 or 6 times during the night , each time with the same scenario , pull ass hair , no response , then sex . Finally after pulling an ass hair he hears a disgruntled voice and the husband says "Look buddy , I don`t mind and you can have as much sex with my wife as much as you want . But dammit man my ass is NOT a scoreboard !"

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This was a good one, next? :D
 

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I do have one in mind that will give the ladies a smile and giggle or maybe a :rofl: but the guys will most probably do a :facepalm:
 
A husband walks in the kitchen when he sees his wife drop an egg into a pan . She then turns to him and says I need you to make love to me now . The husband quite taken aback and thinking he must have misunderstood her says "What did you just say ?" Again she says I need you to make love to me right now . The husband could not believe what he just heard and thought "Man is this my lucky day" . So he made love to his wife right there on the spot then left for work . All day long he thought his manly prowess in that his wife still wanted him that much even bragging to his buddies about what happened that morning . When he returned home that evening still thinking about it he decided to ask her about it . He said to her that he really enjoyed the morning activity and wanted to know what had brought that on . "Oh that" she said .....well our egg timer is broken .
 
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