Thanks everyone... again...
My visit to the ER, where I posted the initial message, turned into a 3 night/4 day stay...
2 stints and 6 pills a day later I get to learn I apparently had a heart attack, though if I did it means I have actually had a couple of hundred, an average of 6-8 a day, for the last couple of months... so not sure how much faith I put in that theory...
What is inarguable is my high blood pressure, hypertension, exascerbated by anxiety and whitty diet, as well as no excercise due to my back problems...
I would have written this message sooner, but honestly, I just feel kind of ashamed I have let myself get this far, and kind of depressed. I also always feel wierd and kinda stupid, as if I am being needy or attention whoring by sharing this stuff with you guys... but I also consider the people here my friends, so there is that...
I am trying to cut back on smoking, being back at work today has helped, down to 1 every hour an a half, hopefully by this time next week it will be no more than 1 every 4 hours. Going cold turkey is impossible, as every I know smokes, including everyone I live with.
I am trying to eat better, trying being the operative term here as well...
but I have pretty much eliminated sodas, and drink pretty much nothing but water, which has to count for something...
Anyway, I am ok, and on the more important note, going to bite the bullet and go for paid hosting, so DF should be back up again soon.