@HybridGonk That did it. Thank you! She was nonstop getting in and out of the car as soon as my speed went below ~15. I got so frustrated, I thought I could "reset" her by pummeling her melon with a bat. That felt refreshing, but didn't fix her behaviour.
Aiming for the garage door (so it opens), then driving backwards 40 m before flying into the garage like a madman did the trick. Just ram straight into it.