Cyberpunk 2077 Corrupt a wish

[Vincentdante]

Cyberpunk 2077 Corrupt a wish

This is a favorite forum game of mine. For those that have never come across one of these threads before the rules are simple enough.

You make a wish related to the game we are discussing, so in this case Cyberpunk 2077 and related materials. Then the next poster grants the wish but corrupts it as well, then makes a wish of their own.

so here is an example:
me: "I wish for a puppy"
next poster: "Granted but the puppy has rabies, I wish for..." etc

So starting now.

I wish that the Collector's Edition came with a hard copy of the PnP's rulebook.

 

[dragonbird]

I thought we'd been playing this for the last year and a bit...
(Awww, poor puppy)

I wish that the Collector's Edition came with a hard copy of the PnP's rulebook.

Granted, but it's written in Chinese, using a yellowish ink with a suspicious smell, on moldy banana leaves that fall apart when you touch them.

I wish for the game to be open world.

 

[Vincentdante]

I thought we'd been playing this for the last year and a bit...
(Awww, poor puppy)

It's more prevalent in the E3 thread over on the Witcher side I would say

I wish for the game to be open world.

Granted CDPR have gotten permission from Bethesda to re-skin Fallout 3 to make it happen.

I wish for thousands of different types cyberware for us to abuse choose from.

 

[Neural_Cipher]

I wish for thousands of different types cyberware for us to abuse choose from.

Granted, but all the different types do exactly the same thing

I wish for a new update to the progression of CP2077

 

[Sardukhar]

I can't thing of a funny way to corrupt your dumb game that is too smart for me. Therefor, I shall tell you a story. Any resemblance to persons, places or things in this story are purely coincidental.

A long time ago, there was a temple in Japan. Or China. Possibly France. Rome? Shut up, that's not important. Anyway.

In this temple were many monks, and one cat. The cat was named, @blank_redge.
The monks adored this cat, as will happen when you spend most of your life meditating, cleaning, cooking and touching yourself.
Two monks in particular competed to win the cats attention. Monk one, who we shall call @vincentdante, would spend his mornings, after the usual cooking, cleaning, meditating and self-abuse, playing silly games with the cat, bringing it treats, talking to it softly.
The other monk, who we shall call, ohhh... @decatonkeil, after his chores and flogging, would in turn spend the afternoon making beautiful things for the cat, blank_redge. A tiny, perfect collar, a wonderfully smooth drinking bowl, an embroidered sleeping mat.

At dinner, the two monks, vincent and dec, would quarrel over who appreciated the cat more. It's a temple. No one invented TV or Netflix yet. Shut-up.
Finally it grew bitter enough that a third monk,, let's call him @Neural Cipher, intervened and took the cat, along with the other two monks, to the temple's master, who we shall call..hmm..Rahkudras.

Now Rahkudras was a brave, highly intelligent man, powerful both physically and in the ways of love, handsome to all who beheld him, friend to the mighty and..but I digress. Let us just understand he was the very best of men. Modest, too.

Upon seeing what had transpired, and listening to each monk claiming the cat as his own, Rahkudras immediately seized the cat in one hand and took up a mighty cleaver in his other.

"If either of you can say the answer,you will save the cat. Otherwise, I will cut him in two."

None of the monks could give an answer, so Rahkudras cut blank_redge in two.

Later, when @Dragonbird heard the story, she smiled and put her sandal on her head. Rahkudras remarked, "You would have saved the cat."

Of course, they rebuilt the cat as a murderous cyberpred and now it prowls the outskirts of the temple hunting down runaway children who have exceeded their daily petting total, but that's another story.

 

[Vincentdante]

I can't thing of a funny way to corrupt your dumb game that is too smart for me. Therefor, I shall tell you a story. Any resemblance to persons, places or things in this story are purely coincidental.

That's an easy one, see below.

Now Rahkudras was a brave, highly intelligent man, powerful both physically and in the ways of love, handsome to all who beheld him, friend to the mighty and..but I digress. Let us just understand he was the very best of men. Modest, too.

Wow it's like the name and personality is reversed from someone I know.

Granted, but all the different types do exactly the same thing

I wish for a new update to the progression of CP2077

Granted CDPR announce the games cancellation.

I wish the game would heavily feature multiple scenarios and hand crafted quests based on your starting class.

 

[Decatonkeil]

I can't thing of a funny way to corrupt your dumb game that is too smart for me. Therefor, I shall tell you a story. Any resemblance to persons, places or things in this story are purely coincidental.

A long time ago, there was a temple in Japan. Or China. Possibly France. Rome? Shut up, that's not important. Anyway.

In this temple were many monks, and one cat. The cat was named, @blank_redge.
The monks adored this cat, as will happen when you spend most of your life meditating, cleaning, cooking and touching yourself.
Two monks in particular competed to win the cats attention. Monk one, who we shall call @vincentdante, would spend his mornings, after the usual cooking, cleaning, meditating and self-abuse, playing silly games with the cat, bringing it treats, talking to it softly.
The other monk, who we shall call, ohhh... @decatonkeil, after his chores and flogging, would in turn spend the afternoon making beautiful things for the cat, blank_redge. A tiny, perfect collar, a wonderfully smooth drinking bowl, an embroidered sleeping mat.

At dinner, the two monks, vincent and dec, would quarrel over who appreciated the cat more. It's a temple. No one invented TV or Netflix yet. Shut-up.
Finally it grew bitter enough that a third monk,, let's call him @Neural Cipher, intervened and took the cat, along with the other two monks, to the temple's master, who we shall call..hmm..Rahkudras.

Now Rahkudras was a brave, highly intelligent man, powerful both physically and in the ways of love, handsome to all who beheld him, friend to the mighty and..but I digress. Let us just understand he was the very best of men. Modest, too.

Upon seeing what had transpired, and listening to each monk claiming the cat as his own, Rahkudras immediately seized the cat in one hand and took up a mighty cleaver in his other.

"If either of you can say the answer,you will save the cat. Otherwise, I will cut him in two."

None of the monks could give an answer, so Rahkudras cut blank_redge in two.

Later, when @Dragonbird heard the story, she smiled and put her sandal on her head. Rahkudras remarked, "You would have saved the cat."

Of course, they rebuilt the cat as a murderous cyberpred and now it prowls the outskirts of the temple hunting down runaway children who have exceeded their daily petting total, but that's another story.

Wow, I believe I have to be a reincarnation of that decatonkeil monk of the story, what a great man. But I must ask, did the cyberpred get to keep its balls?

I wish the game would heavily feature multiple scenarios and hand crafted quests based on your starting class.

Granted, but the multiple scenarios are laid down in a linear row and the transitions between them are more absurd as to make them feel more diverse: the corporate zone is between the wasteland and the combat zone, which separate it from the high income neighbourhoods and a happy theme park with jolly furries.

I wish we could custom tailor the past life experiences of our character like in the PnP and have the world react to them accordingly.

 

[primephreak]

I wish we could custom tailor the past life experiences of our character like in the PnP and have the world react to them accordingly.

Granted, but all cutscenes involving your past are live action FMVs staring Mark Hamill. I wish you could start and manage your own street gang.

 

[Decatonkeil]

Granted, but all cutscenes involving your past are live action FMVs staring Mark Hamill. I wish you could start and manage your own street gang.

Granted, but you can't customize their looks (they are all stuck with horizontal strip prison uniforms and thief masks), and you can only make them perform petty crimes worthy of the silver age of comics.

I wish, and this is a classic, the game would allow us to have multiple highly customizable hideouts, cribs or safehouses.

 

[Vincentdante]

Granted but the only theme available is "Little Princess Pink" but it's still highly customizable, just within that theme.

I wish that we would get a new trailer at this years E3, along side all the hype expected for The Witcher 3

 

[dragonbird]

Later, when @Dragonbird heard the story, she smiled and put her sandal on her head. Rahkudras remarked, "You would have saved the cat."

So is the solution "The Answer", or taking a cleaver and chopping Rahkudras in two? Either works for me. But obviously, the cat belongs to the cat.

I wish that we would get a new trailer at this years E3, along side all the hype expected for The Witcher 3

Granted, but the trailer will be for the five different zero-day DLC's, each of which is available from one, and only one, retail outlet.

Gonna give you an easy one now. I wish that the game will have a wide choice of vehicles that you can drive.

 

[Neural_Cipher]

Granted CDPR announce the games cancellation.

Wow thats brutal, seriously brutal i can't come back from it

I wish that the game will have a wide choice of vehicles that you can drive.

Granted but they will all have square wheels... just for the lolz

 

[Vincentdante]

@Neural Cipher psst make a wish man

Just to carry the thread forward. I wish CDPR would give us a sneak peek at the character sheet so we get an idea on how much of the system transfers over to the game.

 

[dragonbird]

Just to carry the thread forward. I wish CDPR would give us a sneak peek at the character sheet so we get an idea on how much of the system transfers over to the game.

Granted. And you'll be pleased to hear that it's exactly like the PnP character sheet...





For Dungeons and Dragons.



I wish that @Neural Cipher would get his arse back in here and make a wish. But failing that, I'm going to wish for third-person view.

 

[Decatonkeil]

Granted. And you'll be pleased to hear that it's exactly like the PnP character sheet...





For Dungeons and Dragons.



I wish that @Neural Cipher would get his arse back in here and make a wish. But failing that, I'm going to wish for third-person view.

Granted, but it allows you to see a "kick me" note stuck on the back of your character, but you can't take it off because that's metagaming (you are aware of it, but your character isn't).

I wish the game would have very destructible environments.

 

[Vincentdante]

Granted, but it allows you to see a "kick me" note stuck on the back of your character, but you can't take it off because that's metagaming (you are aware of it, but your character isn't).

I wish the game would have very destructible environments.

Granted the environment is so destructible that it all collapses as you start the game, it won't repair itself either so the game will effectively be unplayable.

I wish that the game had player character dismemberment just like the PnP.

 

[waciuk]

Granted, but the chance of dismemberment is so high you have an 89% chance of losing a leg just standing up.

I wish completing missions filled my bank accounts with real money.

 

[Neural_Cipher]

@Neural Cipher psst make a wish man

I wish that @Neural Cipher would get his arse back in here and make a wish.

Sorry guys, the news of the games cancellation stirred me into cyber-psychosis and then i fell asleep totally forgetting to forward a wish, my bad my bad.

I wish completing missions filled my bank accounts with real money.

Granted. However you are now investigated for tax fraud and the IRA is looking to audit your brains out. Goodluck

I wish... i wish i had a fish.

 

[Decatonkeil]

Sorry guys, the news of the games cancellation stirred me into cyber-psychosis and then i fell asleep totally forgetting to forward a wish, my bad my bad.



Granted. However you are now investigated for tax fraud and the IRA is looking to audit your brains out. Goodluck

I wish... i wish i had a fish.

Granted, but you have to feed it in between missions or the fish will die. Oh, and the aquarium is in a spaceship IN SPACE!

I wish it's our in game actions that have a direct outcome on characters' outlooks on us and also long-term consequences, as opposed to our good or evil "aura" doing the job.

 

[dragonbird]

I wish it's our in game actions that have a direct outcome on characters' outlooks on us and also long-term consequences, as opposed to our good or evil "aura" doing the job.

Granted, but their opinion of you will only range between "Douche", "Asshole" and "Sucker".

I wish for good melee combat.