Judy is more feminine (and more childish) while Panam is more masculine (and more mature). This is contradictory: Panam is more suited to be the lesbian than Judy.
Neither are organic lesbians.
Judy's "childishness" if anything is inconsistent with her degenerate pornographer worldliness. Shorthand, she's a bitch. And on the male play through treats you like an emotional tampon due to the lack of payoff for the generic open ended "maybe might woops she's lesbian GG no RE" handling of her character.
Panam being willfull doesn't make her unfeminine. And that relates to your next point
What bothers me a bit is that in CP the flirts are immediately overwhelming you with the "what does this mean to you?" Damn it, it's just a fuck! I miss The witcher when you could screw all that moved and nothing happened. In CP the only chance is paid sex.
Because Panam is a delicate pure waifu and Judy is unstable. You have to try
as male V to get Panam to open up and accept the fact the attraction is mutual. There are cues that there is abuse and abandonment in her background and she won't be hurt again. And she doesn't abandon you and her willfullness makes the panam ending one of the most played in game. Strength of her character undermines all other plots in the game for the star ending. Isn't even a question if you romance panam where the game takes you.
Judy is... bipolar. And an objectively shitty person. But power of (lady)boners amirite. She's unstable and needy and self destructive. The entire playthrough even if you can bone her at the end she's an emotional vampire. Worse for it that she's integral for the BD macguffin barely used in game that forces interaction. Vs life on all playthroughs would be improved with never meeting her.
>But she has a sexier character model as a tight bodied tatted problem haired alt girl
Now panam is muh waifu, but her voiceactor doesn't match (and look up her voiceactors complexion.) She's effectively a scientifically designed white savior trope as implemented. That shouldn't sit well with you, or I, or anyone. Earlier treatment you could bet your life she looked like her voice actress. Beyond racial androgyny, Panam is severe, but it works. She has strong features (and ass
ettes) but is generally a willful late 20 year old girl who needs a steady hand. Her devotion after you invest time into her, after the antagonistic opener, makes her borderline concerningly devoted to you and your relationship. But it all follows for her character, all the way into the post credit scenes if you betray her. She blames silverhand and will
get you back.
That is her character and her strength and why casual flings just don't work with these characters in game. More romances and we could do for some shallow ones, but those all got cut out. Panam being a better far more loyal waifu than yennifer though? No regrets.