I rewrote the plot. Feedback welcome

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My post will explain my problems with the plot as it is (I.) which inspired me to rewrite it in order the fix said problems (II.). and thus create a more LOGICAL, and in my opinion more interesting, story.

I. My reasons for rewriting the story:


While I find the story of the game to be very promising and filled with great ideas, I find it is plagued by 3 glaring issues, which my version will attempt to fix:

-Lack of reason for Arasaka to make an engram of Johnny's mind.
-Lack of reason for Takemura and Hanako to collaborate with V. Both of these characters want to get back at Yorinobu for the murder of his father, point taken. However, the only worth V has to both of these characters is being an eye witness to the murder of Papa Saka which amounts to nothing. Most importantly, they are both completely loyal to Arasaka yet they don't seem bothered at all by the fact that 1. V was originally here to steal from the company, and 2. V's mind is being rewritten with the engram of the corp's worst nightmare, Johnny. They don't know who holds the reigns on V's body and mouth (V himself or Johnny). It makes no sense for Takemura to be buddy buddy with V the whole game.
-Lack of continuity in Johnny's determination to fuck one last time with Arasaka, as that wish is voiced mid game then completely absent in the final act.

TLDR: Lack of logical motivations on Arasaka's side, lack of purpose on Johnny's side.

II. My version of the story

Please bear with me as we explore Johnny's terrorist attack on Arasaka's tower (A.), the heist (B.) and the subsequent events and endings (C.)

A. Johnny's terrorist attack

Firstly, coming back to the historic moment of Johnny's terrorist attack on Arasaka's tower. Johnny arrives all gun blazing with Rogue and make a bloodbath at Arasaka's tower. That is what Johnny will be remembered for, but the unknown fact is that, while doing so, Rogue's program allows them to upload a dormant version of Johnny's mind on Saburo's engram chip (which in my version already exist) in the hope to fuck with their plan to get an eternal Saburo. Johnny accepts to lose his life for it right there at the tower and Rogue manages to escape and keeps the secret. Arasaka never finds out because Johnny is akin to a tiny flickering light on the chip, he survives there hidden and gets to witness the psyche of the corporation's mastermind, which creates room for adding depth to his character.

B. The Heist

The events of the Heist remains unchanged. V ends up with the chip in his head and gets shot in the head by Dex, which fucks with the chip further than in the game by causing a reversal of power within it between Johnny's and Saburo's engrams. Johnny now holds the reigns within the chip while Saburo lies dormant, only V is aware of this fact since he's the one who sees Johnny. V's mind is still getting erased in favor of Johnny's. We still get the same relationship between V and Johnny, it's just a secret to everyone. The official version is that the only engram on the chip is that of Saburo. V could reveal Johnny's presence to Rogue so we still get to explore their relationship in the dedicated quests.

C. Development and endings

Subsequently, Takemura then Hanako greatly distrust V for stealing the chip in the first place(none of that cute friendly BS between Takemura and V), but they reluctantly decide to use him for their own purpose of fucking Yorinobu over, except now they both have a great reason for doing so: They want to get both V and Yorinobu into the same room with the corp's best surgeons to switch the chip from V to Yori, getting revenge on Yorinobu by erasing his mind in favor of his father's. With this configuration, V is truly needed by Takemura and Hanako in order to get the father's mind where it belongs, with a beautiful touch of poetic justice here for Yorinobu which could have been played to great effect, in a way that engaged the player more than in the game's version.

The thing is, V is manipulating them by not revealing to them the truth about the chip and Johnny's presence in it. This creates a sense of agency for V beyond just his own survival (although the latter is still there, the chip is still killing him and Arasaka's surgeons are the only ones who can remove it from him.)
Johnny at this point is fucking ecstatic and becomes a very relevant part of the story: he's about to take over Yorinobu's body and become leader of Arasaka in order to destroy the company from the inside. He gets a true purpose, he will try to manipulate the player in order to get his way here. We could from there get multiple endings with the choice of revealing the presence of Johnny on the chip to Takemura and Hanako, conceal it as planned and let Johnny have his way, or destroy the chip yourself, etc.

If you come back to the I. part of my post, mentioning my gripes with the story, you will see that they're all "fixed" in my version. Johnny has a real purpose, everyone's actions and motivations make sense. Really wish I could have been part of the writing team on this one. Of course it is merely an outline and there would be plenty of writing to go from there. Curious to know everyone's thoughts!
 
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