What makes you think that?
Not what I meant, I mean that as I grow older I find certain things need repeated practice to keep it on a 'level' instead of something that I could retain over much long periods of time, like stamina, arm/leg strength.
Not what I meant, I mean that as I grow older I find certain things need repeated practice to keep it on a 'level' instead of something that I could retain over much long periods of time, like stamina, arm/leg strength.
Wait. You're fit? Like, run 10 km, lift your bodyweight, swim half an hour without stopping kind of fit?What makes you think that?
.
I just..it's hard for me to picture you doing things like this, Sid. It sounds so...vigourous.
Me, me mates Shag and Fat Bob sat around a table, bullshitting and drinking earlier.
Shag says, "'Ere Bob do you use two hands to have a wank?"
Bob looks up from his pack o nuts, "Eh?"
"Thy heard me!"
"Why the fuck would I use two hands?"
"One to lift thee belly, other to wank."
Cue me spitting beer over both of 'em, thought that were pretty funny.
Shag says, "'Ere Bob do you use two hands to have a wank?"
Bob looks up from his pack o nuts, "Eh?"
"Thy heard me!"
"Why the fuck would I use two hands?"
"One to lift thee belly, other to wank."
Cue me spitting beer over both of 'em, thought that were pretty funny.
Does anyone need a translation?
(Bloth - in case anyone does, can you let me know if "pack o nuts" was literal or a euphemism in this case)
(Bloth - in case anyone does, can you let me know if "pack o nuts" was literal or a euphemism in this case)
Yeah, I think you're right.
Now, let's see, it's 1am in the UK right now? Not many Brits around to start nit-picking over the translation... Oh, good.
Now, let's see, it's 1am in the UK right now? Not many Brits around to start nit-picking over the translation... Oh, good.
Bloth's postings are not too difficult for me. I have a friend from Tyneside who can go full Geordie and there's no understanding him.
Geordie moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a sales job.
Mohamed Al Fayed was doing the interviews and asked Geordie whether he had any sales experience?
"Well ah was a canny salesman back in Newcastle, but the firm closed down so ah thought I’d try me luck in London”. After a few more questions Mr Al Fayed decided he liked Geordie and gave him the job.
On Geordies first day on the job he managed to only sell to one customer and after the store was locked up, Al Fayed came down and asked “OK, Geordie how many sales did you make today?”
Geordie said “Ah just selt to the one person Man”. Al Fayed groaned and exclaimed, ” Geordie, our sales people average of 20 sales a day, I thought you said you were good? How much was the total sale?
” Whey aboot 120 grand like” replied Geordie … Al Fayed nearly choked and exclaimed “£120,000 ! what the hell did you sell him?”
“Well said Geordie, forstly ah sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook and then ah sold him a new fishing rod.
Then ah asked him where he was gannin to go’ fishing and he said well probably down the coast, so ah took me chance and told him he would be best off fishing off a boat and escorted him down to the boat department where ah sold him a twin-engine Power Cat.
He then said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so ah took him doon to the car sales room and persuaded him to trade it in for a 4 x 4 Suzuki”.
An even more incredulous Al Fayed said “You mean to tell me…. a customer came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a fish hook, a fishing rod, a boat and a 4×4?
“Why nah man Mr Al Fayed……he actually came in here to buy a box of tampons for his girlfriend, so ah said … Well, since your weekend’s up the spout, you might as well gan fishing”
Geordie moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a sales job.
Mohamed Al Fayed was doing the interviews and asked Geordie whether he had any sales experience?
"Well ah was a canny salesman back in Newcastle, but the firm closed down so ah thought I’d try me luck in London”. After a few more questions Mr Al Fayed decided he liked Geordie and gave him the job.
On Geordies first day on the job he managed to only sell to one customer and after the store was locked up, Al Fayed came down and asked “OK, Geordie how many sales did you make today?”
Geordie said “Ah just selt to the one person Man”. Al Fayed groaned and exclaimed, ” Geordie, our sales people average of 20 sales a day, I thought you said you were good? How much was the total sale?
” Whey aboot 120 grand like” replied Geordie … Al Fayed nearly choked and exclaimed “£120,000 ! what the hell did you sell him?”
“Well said Geordie, forstly ah sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook and then ah sold him a new fishing rod.
Then ah asked him where he was gannin to go’ fishing and he said well probably down the coast, so ah took me chance and told him he would be best off fishing off a boat and escorted him down to the boat department where ah sold him a twin-engine Power Cat.
He then said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so ah took him doon to the car sales room and persuaded him to trade it in for a 4 x 4 Suzuki”.
An even more incredulous Al Fayed said “You mean to tell me…. a customer came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a fish hook, a fishing rod, a boat and a 4×4?
“Why nah man Mr Al Fayed……he actually came in here to buy a box of tampons for his girlfriend, so ah said … Well, since your weekend’s up the spout, you might as well gan fishing”
I grew up three miles from the Yorkshire county boundary, on the civilised side. The accent was totally different, and it would have been a mortal offense for some visiting Southerner to mistake one for the other, but we could understand each other.
Damn @Guy N'wah now I need to triple check my bank accounts and stock portfolio. Send my boyfriend out today to buy a box of tampons... Suddenly I'm very afraid as he had my credit card.
It were a packet o KP, don't think Bob's seen his bits in a few years, but testicles sounds funnier.
Anybody suggest a good beard shampoo? Gotten a bit bushy over winter and noticed a bit of dandruff, which can't be from me head as i'm bald as i'm a chrome dome.
Same stuff as for my head. It's high quality though - no discounter shampoo or shampoo/shower gel combo. I also just put conditioner remnants from my hands into my beard, don't think it's making any difference in that small dose. That said, luckily I don't get a lot of dandruff anyway, and as you're bald this probably isn't helping much. Putting polish for your bald head into your beard does not sound very adivsable. :huh:
I've just been using soap or shower gel so you're right that's probably where the problem is, didn't see the need for shampoo with no hair, well on me head anyway i've got enough elsewhere to shame a gorilla.
Cheers.
Cheers.
My boyfriend swears on my conditioner, he says the best is the good smelling herbal essences for damaged hair... gives his beard a bit of a shine...
The good thing is he doesn't need much, the bad thing is he always forgets to put the bottle back in the right bathroom.
