If I resume the facts, you find "weird/toxic" the message from Panam in the case :
Because she has enough confidence in you, she share with you her "secret" plan about the Basilisk and you, the first things you do is to betray her, to run to tell it to Saul. All of that, only to get a free car.
If yes, you truly think she would welcome you with a smile after that ?
I'm not talking the act itself, I'm talking about her having to hammer the point home, like a group of teenage girls mean texting at a sleepover, after she already put you on blast.
Having to revisit old arguments, and keep taking about how it affects her, is a toxic trait. She never even mentions the car, so she won't ever know about it.
Her reactions to anything that didn't end in agreeing with her, end with her having a hissy fit. She always wants a bit extra.
You agree to help her get her car, then instead of holding up her end of the deal, she asks for more. She would always be pushing boundaries with her anger or holding a grudge as the consequences.
CDPR have been incredibly clever in the way they wrote her. Your romance choices are, in these games, never about who you like, but who you can screw.
That's it. All moral high ground is lost at that point.
You made those choices, but look back on it for a sec. Step back and analyse it. How many of those choices were just so you could get into her pants?
All of them.
You're a Merc, you can either James Bond it and act the part in this RPG like you've never played before, or end up whipped.
Even in the end, in the "final" ending, it was all about how it made her feel.
Everyone else honestly misses you and says so.
Panam? She wants you to burn in hell because of how you made her feel, not because of the dire situation and absolute despair you were in.
Even in the sun ending. I feel there's just excuses about how she can't see you, like an absentee Dad.
Sorry, but if I was in love with someone with 6 months left to live, I'd take a backseat and allow Saul to run things, with the agreement that in the end, they return to normal.
Nope the "the family comes first"
But who were they all constantly calling family?
You.
You're family.
When do you come first?
Honestly with Panam, you never would.