father wears skirt in solidarity with son
father wears hairbow to impress liberals and progressives on facebook
father wears hairbow to impress liberals and progressives on facebook
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A man and his wife had been married for going on fifty years. They shared everything, but the one thing the old man’s wife asked him never to do was look in a old shoebox she kept on the top shelf of her closet.
Not thinking anything of it, the man never asked about its contents. He just figured it was one of those things… One day, when the old woman had fallen ill and didn’t have much longer to live, she called her husband to her hospital bed and told him it was time for him to take a look at the shoebox.
The old man went home, grabbed the box, and opened it. Inside, there were two crocheted dolls and bundles of money totaling $95,000!!
“But…why? How?!” he stuttered, totally mystified by the cash.
“Right before we got married,” the old woman told her astonished husband, “my grandmother told me the secret to a happy marriage was to never argue. She said if I ever got angry with you, I should keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
The old man was touched. There were only two dolls in the shoebox – she had only been angry with him two times over the course of their marriage. He scooped his wife up and gave her a kiss.
“But where did the money come from?” He asked her.
“Oh, that?” She said with a smile, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”
Not thinking anything of it, the man never asked about its contents. He just figured it was one of those things… One day, when the old woman had fallen ill and didn’t have much longer to live, she called her husband to her hospital bed and told him it was time for him to take a look at the shoebox.
The old man went home, grabbed the box, and opened it. Inside, there were two crocheted dolls and bundles of money totaling $95,000!!
“But…why? How?!” he stuttered, totally mystified by the cash.
“Right before we got married,” the old woman told her astonished husband, “my grandmother told me the secret to a happy marriage was to never argue. She said if I ever got angry with you, I should keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
The old man was touched. There were only two dolls in the shoebox – she had only been angry with him two times over the course of their marriage. He scooped his wife up and gave her a kiss.
“But where did the money come from?” He asked her.
“Oh, that?” She said with a smile, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”
As a young man working on me uncle Albert's farm I was a lusty beggar, just coming into adolescence and distracted to no end by me aunty Sally, a big woman built for pleasure and rolls in the hay. She knew the effect she had on me, and teased me unmercifully. But I liked me uncle and so I came to him and told him me problem, that I just couldn't stop meself getting erections all the time.
He was a wise old bloke and told me an old folk cure. Anytime I was feeling a twinge I was to run behind the pigsty and stick two handfuls of pigshit on me erection, and bloody hell it worked, stonker gone in a flash.
All seemed well until me uncle was away trading pigs one long hot summer. While mucking out the barn me aunt Sally came in and started teasing me, rubbing her hands over me chest and shoulders, nibbling me ear, and giggling when she saw the reaction this garnered. Now I was young and a virgin, I didn't know what to do, I was scared but as horny as a herd of rhino, so imagine how confused I was when me aunty lay back on a bale of straw and raised her skirts for me.
I was gobsmacked and just stared, she looked me in the eye and said. "Put it in me!"
I said. "What the whole two handsful?"
Her eyes lit up and she murmured. "Oh yes." Then she lay back and closed her eyes.
So off I went to fetch the pigshit.
He was a wise old bloke and told me an old folk cure. Anytime I was feeling a twinge I was to run behind the pigsty and stick two handfuls of pigshit on me erection, and bloody hell it worked, stonker gone in a flash.
All seemed well until me uncle was away trading pigs one long hot summer. While mucking out the barn me aunt Sally came in and started teasing me, rubbing her hands over me chest and shoulders, nibbling me ear, and giggling when she saw the reaction this garnered. Now I was young and a virgin, I didn't know what to do, I was scared but as horny as a herd of rhino, so imagine how confused I was when me aunty lay back on a bale of straw and raised her skirts for me.
I was gobsmacked and just stared, she looked me in the eye and said. "Put it in me!"
I said. "What the whole two handsful?"
Her eyes lit up and she murmured. "Oh yes." Then she lay back and closed her eyes.
So off I went to fetch the pigshit.
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Someone told me one yesterday but I couldn`t remember it so I had to Google a bit but finally found one very similar .
A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are talking about all sorts of things. Finally, the subject of sex comes up. "Just how do you guys do it?" asked the Earthling. "Pretty much the way you do," responded the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. The female Earthling and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member; very short and very narrow. "What can you do with THAT!?" exclaims the woman. "Why?" he asked, "What’s the matter?" "Well," she replied, "it’s nowhere near long enough. It’ll never reach!" "No problem," he said and proceeded to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grew until it was quite impressively long. "Well," she said. "That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow." "No problem," he said again and started pulling his ears. With each pull his member grew wider and wider until the entire measurement was extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she exclaimed as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoined their normal partners and went off together. As they walked along the Earthling male said, "Well, was it any good?" "I hate to say it," she said, "but it was really wonderful. How about you?" "Well," he said, "It was the weirdest thing. She kept slapping me on the forehead and pulling my ears all night."
source: http://jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/alienwifeswapjokes.html
A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are talking about all sorts of things. Finally, the subject of sex comes up. "Just how do you guys do it?" asked the Earthling. "Pretty much the way you do," responded the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. The female Earthling and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He’s got only a teeny, weeny member; very short and very narrow. "What can you do with THAT!?" exclaims the woman. "Why?" he asked, "What’s the matter?" "Well," she replied, "it’s nowhere near long enough. It’ll never reach!" "No problem," he said and proceeded to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grew until it was quite impressively long. "Well," she said. "That’s quite impressive, but it’s still pretty narrow." "No problem," he said again and started pulling his ears. With each pull his member grew wider and wider until the entire measurement was extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she exclaimed as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoined their normal partners and went off together. As they walked along the Earthling male said, "Well, was it any good?" "I hate to say it," she said, "but it was really wonderful. How about you?" "Well," he said, "It was the weirdest thing. She kept slapping me on the forehead and pulling my ears all night."
source: http://jokes4us.com/dirtyjokes/alienwifeswapjokes.html
