I think that when you play RPGs there are three ways of phrasing the question - "What would my character do?", "What would I do?" and "What will give me the best reward?" If you're roleplaying, then you go for the "What would my character do?" answer, and the game is satisfying if the choices available give you the opportunity to do that.
On a first playthrough, or for the playthrough that you're treating as canon, then from personal experience and from what I've tended to see in the forums, players seem to design their character to match their own morality system as far as possible, so the "What would my character do?" and "What would I do?" responses become the same. But this is still roleplay. You're making moral choices on your character's behalf, but your character is still not you. Especially, I hope, if those moral choices result in a massive killing spree.
And on other playthroughs, you may easily choose to make your character someone who has a totally different morality system to your own, in which case "What would he do?" and "What would I do?" become totally different. You may also go meta and say "What would give me a Steam Achievement/The Flamethrower/Highest XP?", which is fine as long as you don't feel that the game forces you to do this.
A good roleplay experience is based on being able to make those decisions in a way that makes sense, to you and your character. To me, it isn't necessary that my character is my species, profession, age, race, so why would it matter if he/she is the same sex?