People fall in love with characters for their personality so why does it matter? You can still make the 'wrong' choices to the point where romancing a character is off the table. Characters can still have their backstories, dislike for street kids and ex-lovers etc. Say Judy has a bad history with men. Maybe it would be harder for male V to prove himself to her as opposed to Fem V? Either way mods, fanfics and fanart will ignore everything lol. That's just what I'd personally prefer.Your story, but not your world.
You don't always win, if you're... Let's say, a female, and the story teller made "Jim" character gay... Would be quite stupid to have him fall for a girl...
The world have to feel alive, and having NPC being independant from the player's choice does help making it seems alive, or else you're just walking above the mass, which wouldn't really stick to Cyberpunk IMO.
Maybe Judy, which has been said to be lesbian seemingly, had a lots of trauma with males (being a sex worker related to the mox, you can imagine why...), so her character, her identity is build around that to an extent.
Now, as a player, your own choices will maybe go in Judy's direction, and probably you'll flirt if all the cases are checked, or maybe you'll be everything she despise...
Having her go in your arm because you choose to:
- throw to the bin some effort the character writer made to flesh her out.
- make your flirt empty shell.
Now, going in Night City, paying a prostitute, sure, she won't mind much, but for a romance... It's all about common interest.
I doubt a dirty sleazy street kid could bang Meredith the angry corpo lady...
It's how that world works .
Just like, it happens to have a crush on someone, but that someone absolutely don't give two crap about you (pretty common tho), no reason it doesn't work the same way here.