Memory Lane

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That may well be a query about the location of the nearest railway station, but regardless, I'm just impressed he learned to type Kanji
 
21st century, there are plenty of good online translation sites...

You have given me a great idea though...

You have given me several good&crazy ideas for our next game.. :D

 
This is one of the most fun memories I have from a game. This was years ago. I was playing my exotic. At this point we were a fairly advanced.

The clerk at the flophouse looks up as the door opens. A monster steps through the door. Over 7 feet tall, heavily muscled. Wearing a mesh jumpsuit and some kind of stylized armor plates. A metal mask covers its face and it has what look like dreadlocks for hair. Its skin is mottled and there are claws on its hands and feet.
“Damn exotics.” The clerk mumbles under his breath.

The monster looks around then steps aside. Three people enter behind him. An average size man wearing shades, an allergy mask, hat, a long sleeve shirt, bluejeans, tennis shoes, and a backpack. Next a man in a t-shirt and cargo pants wearing shades, messing with an armdeck. Fourth through the door is a woman. She is wearing shades, a long coat, boots, a long bag slung over her shoulder one hand inside. The four people spread out in the lobby. The man in the allergy mask walks to the clerk.

The masked man walks to the counter and says. “A room. One night. On the ground floor. Near the front stairs.”

“For all of you? 50 euro.”

The masked man pulls a money clip from his pocket and peels off 100 euro. “Keep the change and forget us.”

The clerk nods and passes a key through the slot.

The four file down the hall and into the room at the bottom of the stairs.

“You sure she is up there?” The woman asks.

“Yes. In the room at the top of the stairs.” Armdeck responded.

“I can’t believe you put a tracker on her.” She says looking at the masked man.

“Well, you know how she wanders.”

“You better have not bugged me.” The woman says.

“Or me.” Armdeck says.

The monster grunts.

“Really? Even after this?”

“Yes. Even after this.”

“Plan?” The monster says.

“First let’s get a look.” The mask man says. He then pulls a long coat out of his bag and puts it on. Armdeck pulls a small camera from his bag and hands it to the masked man. The masked man exits the room then staggers up the stairs. He leans against the wall near the top of the stair. Then again around the corner where he stuck the camera to the wall. Continuing down the hallway the masked man goes on down the hall to the other stairs and circles back to the room.

“Well?”

“Five heat sources.” Armdeck says looking at the screen on his armdeck. “ One in the back left corner close to the ground, maybe lying down. A second close to the first. A third near the door. Fourth and fifth flanking the third. When you moved away four and five seemed to relax. Let’s wait awhile and see what happens.”

Armdeck sets up a view screen and the four take seats. A few minutes later someone walks up the stairs. The fourth and fifth figures move to flank the third. When the person continues well past the door the figures relax. After fifteen minutes the third and fourth figure trade places. Soon someone comes from up the hall to descend t
he stairs. Once again as the person approaches the door the three figures take up positions near the door.

“Well, they obviously have some security in the hallway. Motion detectors at least.” The masked man says. “Which one is she?”

“Don’t know.”

“That is going to be a pain. The door is offset from the top of the stairs. Whatever defenses they have set up near the door are not showing up on thermal. Our first problem is getting around that killbox.” The woman says.

“Well, looks like the room extends past the top of the stairs. Why not just shoot them through the wall?” Armdeck asks.

“Without knowing which one she is?” The woman replies.

“Well, she probably isn’t one of the three mobile ones.” The masked man says.

“I am not willing to bet her life on probably, are you?” The woman asks.

“No.” The monster says.

“Okay. We have an hour left before he knows we lied about doing his job. Less if he has people watching the place. What about the security camera in the lobby?” The masked man asks.

“How will he know if he has a wireless jammer?” The woman asks.

“Landline, or a runner.” Armdeck answers the woman. “The camera chip is full of old cartoons now.” To the masked man.

While they have been talking the monster has moved to the back wall and pokes a hole in the sheetrock. He then widens the hole until two of the studs are showing. There is little insulation and no wire conduits.

The monster then steps outside and looks up the stairs. He motions to the masked man to come out.

“Bearing wall?” The monster asks motioning toward the top of the stairs.

The masked man looks around, thinks for a second then says, “No. What are you thinking?”

The monster nods and steps back inside the room. “Gear up and follow.” He says then watches the vidscreen. The woman looks puzzled but removes her hand from the bag along with a bullpuped rifle. Armdeck and the masked man pull large handguns from their bags. Only moments pass before a door on the second floor opens and someone steps out. The two mobile figures in the room move into position.

As soon as the mobile figures settle into place the monster charges out the door and up the stairs. At the top of the stairs the monster drops his shoulder and slams into the wall. The woman follows closely, the masked man next, and armdeck bringing up the rear.

The wall explodes as the monster slams through. The three figures facing the door open fire in surprise tearing up the door and hallway. The monster’s momentum carries him across the room. The woman moves into the room raising her rifle and shooting at the closest of the three crouching figures. The masked man and armdeck moves into the room shooting the third and others. The monster flexes his hand and blades deploy from a custom battleglove. The figure that was laying down covers, the second stands up. The monster spins toward the standing figure and lashes out. The look of surprise on the standing man’s face remains until the head hits the floor.

The monster scoops up the girl laying on the bed and heads out of the room. The woman shoots the three figures laying on the ground in the neck. The masked man moves to the headless body and flips it over and pulls out a roll of cash and a cell phone. Armdeck starts toward the door but notices tripwires. He changes course and follows the monster back into the hallway.

In the hallway armdeck steps over and peels the minicam from the wall, then heads downstairs and collects his video board. The masked man and the woman come down the stairs. The monster is already out the door carrying her. Armdeck and the woman follow.

The masked man steps up to the glass and passes the roll through the slot. “For damages. Tell them to not go in the door. It is booby trapped.” He then exits the flophouse.
 
This is one of the most fun memories I have from a game. This was years ago. I was playing my exotic. At this point we were a fairly advanced.

The clerk at the flophouse looks up as the door opens. A monster steps through the door. Over 7 feet tall, heavily muscled. Wearing a mesh jumpsuit and some kind of stylized armor plates. A metal mask covers its face and it has what look like dreadlocks for hair. Its skin is mottled and there are claws on its hands and feet.
“Damn exotics.” The clerk mumbles under his breath.

The monster looks around then steps aside. Three people enter behind him. An average size man wearing shades, an allergy mask, hat, a long sleeve shirt, bluejeans, tennis shoes, and a backpack. Next a man in a t-shirt and cargo pants wearing shades, messing with an armdeck. Fourth through the door is a woman. She is wearing shades, a long coat, boots, a long bag slung over her shoulder one hand inside. The four people spread out in the lobby. The man in the allergy mask walks to the clerk.

The masked man walks to the counter and says. “A room. One night. On the ground floor. Near the front stairs.”

“For all of you? 50 euro.”

The masked man pulls a money clip from his pocket and peels off 100 euro. “Keep the change and forget us.”

The clerk nods and passes a key through the slot.

The four file down the hall and into the room at the bottom of the stairs.

“You sure she is up there?” The woman asks.

“Yes. In the room at the top of the stairs.” Armdeck responded.

“I can’t believe you put a tracker on her.” She says looking at the masked man.

“Well, you know how she wanders.”

“You better have not bugged me.” The woman says.

“Or me.” Armdeck says.

The monster grunts.

“Really? Even after this?”

“Yes. Even after this.”

“Plan?” The monster says.

“First let’s get a look.” The mask man says. He then pulls a long coat out of his bag and puts it on. Armdeck pulls a small camera from his bag and hands it to the masked man. The masked man exits the room then staggers up the stairs. He leans against the wall near the top of the stair. Then again around the corner where he stuck the camera to the wall. Continuing down the hallway the masked man goes on down the hall to the other stairs and circles back to the room.

“Well?”

“Five heat sources.” Armdeck says looking at the screen on his armdeck. “ One in the back left corner close to the ground, maybe lying down. A second close to the first. A third near the door. Fourth and fifth flanking the third. When you moved away four and five seemed to relax. Let’s wait awhile and see what happens.”

Armdeck sets up a view screen and the four take seats. A few minutes later someone walks up the stairs. The fourth and fifth figures move to flank the third. When the person continues well past the door the figures relax. After fifteen minutes the third and fourth figure trade places. Soon someone comes from up the hall to descend t
he stairs. Once again as the person approaches the door the three figures take up positions near the door.

“Well, they obviously have some security in the hallway. Motion detectors at least.” The masked man says. “Which one is she?”

“Don’t know.”

“That is going to be a pain. The door is offset from the top of the stairs. Whatever defenses they have set up near the door are not showing up on thermal. Our first problem is getting around that killbox.” The woman says.

“Well, looks like the room extends past the top of the stairs. Why not just shoot them through the wall?” Armdeck asks.

“Without knowing which one she is?” The woman replies.

“Well, she probably isn’t one of the three mobile ones.” The masked man says.

“I am not willing to bet her life on probably, are you?” The woman asks.

“No.” The monster says.

“Okay. We have an hour left before he knows we lied about doing his job. Less if he has people watching the place. What about the security camera in the lobby?” The masked man asks.

“How will he know if he has a wireless jammer?” The woman asks.

“Landline, or a runner.” Armdeck answers the woman. “The camera chip is full of old cartoons now.” To the masked man.

While they have been talking the monster has moved to the back wall and pokes a hole in the sheetrock. He then widens the hole until two of the studs are showing. There is little insulation and no wire conduits.

The monster then steps outside and looks up the stairs. He motions to the masked man to come out.

“Bearing wall?” The monster asks motioning toward the top of the stairs.

The masked man looks around, thinks for a second then says, “No. What are you thinking?”

The monster nods and steps back inside the room. “Gear up and follow.” He says then watches the vidscreen. The woman looks puzzled but removes her hand from the bag along with a bullpuped rifle. Armdeck and the masked man pull large handguns from their bags. Only moments pass before a door on the second floor opens and someone steps out. The two mobile figures in the room move into position.

As soon as the mobile figures settle into place the monster charges out the door and up the stairs. At the top of the stairs the monster drops his shoulder and slams into the wall. The woman follows closely, the masked man next, and armdeck bringing up the rear.

The wall explodes as the monster slams through. The three figures facing the door open fire in surprise tearing up the door and hallway. The monster’s momentum carries him across the room. The woman moves into the room raising her rifle and shooting at the closest of the three crouching figures. The masked man and armdeck moves into the room shooting the third and others. The monster flexes his hand and blades deploy from a custom battleglove. The figure that was laying down covers, the second stands up. The monster spins toward the standing figure and lashes out. The look of surprise on the standing man’s face remains until the head hits the floor.

The monster scoops up the girl laying on the bed and heads out of the room. The woman shoots the three figures laying on the ground in the neck. The masked man moves to the headless body and flips it over and pulls out a roll of cash and a cell phone. Armdeck starts toward the door but notices tripwires. He changes course and follows the monster back into the hallway.

In the hallway armdeck steps over and peels the minicam from the wall, then heads downstairs and collects his video board. The masked man and the woman come down the stairs. The monster is already out the door carrying her. Armdeck and the woman follow.

The masked man steps up to the glass and passes the roll through the slot. “For damages. Tell them to not go in the door. It is booby trapped.” He then exits the flophouse.


I'm gonna feel so bad saying the bad part, so I'll sweeten the pill first by saying: That was awesome! Plus, I'm a fan of learning frackheads who think doors are somehow legally binding.

Now for the bad news: While I loved that, and thank you so much for sharing it, and I'm glad it worked out this was, this wasn't strictly in line with the thread itself. Now I wanna expand the name or something, but don't know how. I was only after the seriously confusingly bad runs, but this showed me I want the good ones too! Thanks!
 
OK, this was 8 years ago, so i might not remember all the details, but here it goes:

In this one play trough, i was playing as cop (as always), this rich corporate guy offered us a job.. (At same time we irritated our GM so much that he was set on giving us a lesson.) When we met this guy, the told us that some antique sword was stolen from his collection.. He offered us a handsome award for finding and returning it to him.. He suspected his former security guard who quit his job at same time and went into hiding in wastelands.. Our job was to find this man, question him and find out if he knows anything about the theft.. We bought some supplies and tried to find this man in wastelands.. I'm fuzzy on the details but for some reason bandits start to appear wave after wave and it wasn't long after until we wasted almost every single bullet we had.. We were in this crappy van that our techie kept it working (but barely) and our GM was still punishing us for our little joke... Since we were low on ammo, we talked about conserving ammo.. I had a 9mm pistol with only half a clip and our techie was talking about throwing grenades.. (Since we didn't have any SMG ammo) Our netrunner friend who was driving at the time, decided it is a good idea to run over our enemies with the crappy van we were in.. As we almost reached our target, we saw a bunch of bandits and instead of getting of the car and finding cover, our netrunner said "i'm gonna run these suckers over", just while we were driving towards them, (slowly i might add) one of the bandits tried to take us out with a rocket launcher.. Sadly our netrunner friend had reflexes of 4... The end..
 
OK, this was 8 years ago, so i might not remember all the details, but here it goes:

In this one play trough, i was playing as cop (as always), this rich corporate guy offered us a job.. (At same time we irritated our GM so much that he was set on giving us a lesson.) When we met this guy, the told us that some antique sword was stolen from his collection.. He offered us a handsome award for finding and returning it to him.. He suspected his former security guard who quit his job at same time and went into hiding in wastelands.. Our job was to find this man, question him and find out if he knows anything about the theft.. We bought some supplies and tried to find this man in wastelands.. I'm fuzzy on the details but for some reason bandits start to appear wave after wave and it wasn't long after until we wasted almost every single bullet we had.. We were in this crappy van that our techie kept it working (but barely) and our GM was still punishing us for our little joke... Since we were low on ammo, we talked about conserving ammo.. I had a 9mm pistol with only half a clip and our techie was talking about throwing grenades.. (Since we didn't have any SMG ammo) Our netrunner friend who was driving at the time, decided it is a good idea to run over our enemies with the crappy van we were in.. As we almost reached our target, we saw a bunch of bandits and instead of getting of the car and finding cover, our netrunner said "i'm gonna run these suckers over", just while we were driving towards them, (slowly i might add) one of the bandits tried to take us out with a rocket launcher.. Sadly our netrunner friend had reflexes of 4... The end..

Yeesh! *Manhugs* That had ta hurt! Here I am hoping you all died from the rocket, rather than (barely) surviving only to then be tortured to death. That'd be a total dick move, and one I'd likely be responsible for :p
 
Now, to tide us over, I present 2 Pot Screama, a rock opera in one act, by This Is Serious Mum. Those of you not Australian enough to get the references should hang your heads in shame at the profound lack of murderous/rapey/irishmen in your ancestry, think about what you've done, and stop it at once.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HR1SK8sIj_Y
 
Ah, okay. Sorry, I keyed in on fun and workaround. One fubar story was when I was running. Felt like being lazy so I decided to do a simple run down.

I had one of the characters run into an old friend of his. The old friend was female and crying. Turns out the friend’s daughter had disappeared. Her husband had tried to find her and wound up in a coma. Would the player please find her? Player agrees. She then tells the player that the only real lead she has is that her daughter was hanging out with this girl and following some band. The girl’s father owns a bar called second chance in Seattle.

The player returns to the party’s flat to gather the team.

Now the wreck begins. Since the friend didn’t offer any money the only reward would be on the back end, if at all. One of the characters decides that she is not going to go help. So the player and his female character got to sit around for the whole session.

Now to start the investigation. I was ready for them to head to the bar in Seattle. Instead they decide to check the girl’s Myspace account. I do a little mental dance and come up with her Myspace account. Turns out she has two favorite bands. One is performing in Portland, the other in Seattle. Remember Seattle? Now the players who are actually participating in the adventure decide to check out the band in Portland since it is closer to Night City.

On to Portland. The players start making their way through the groupies with a picture looking for the girl. They offer a reward for her. The next day a guy shows up with a girl who looks a lot like her but isn’t. The players still give him some cash. The word gets around. People start showing up with girls that look less and less like her just to score some easy cash. The campaign ended there. They never did make their way to Seattle.

It was supposed to be simple. To the bar, if they survived that the girls dad would have sent them to the girls mom. The girls mom would have sent them to some groupie friends. The groupie friends would have directed them to some drug dealers the girls owed. With some persuasion the drug dealers would have told the players who they sold the girls to for the debt. Rescue the girls and take them home.

I still use this example for players who do not pay attention.
 
I'm gonna feel so bad saying the bad part, so I'll sweeten the pill first by saying: That was awesome! Plus, I'm a fan of learning frackheads who think doors are somehow legally binding.

Now for the bad news: While I loved that, and thank you so much for sharing it, and I'm glad it worked out this was, this wasn't strictly in line with the thread itself. Now I wanna expand the name or something, but don't know how. I was only after the seriously confusingly bad runs, but this showed me I want the good ones too! Thanks!

Thanks. As I said it is one of my favorite memories. I still remember the look on the GMs face when at the top of the stairs he asked me to make an athletics roll to turn down the hall. I said he isn't going to turn. He is going straight through the wall. I sometimes mess up the GMs plans like any other player.
 
Thanks. As I said it is one of my favorite memories. I still remember the look on the GMs face when at the top of the stairs he asked me to make an athletics roll to turn down the hall. I said he isn't going to turn. He is going straight through the wall. I sometimes mess up the GMs plans like any other player.

Hah! Now I got ya! It was just that, with that slick narrative style, I missed the part where the GM was tearing their fucking hair out :p

Oh, and Portland... ROFL! The bit with the girls reminds me of a bit in Borderlands 2... one of my favorite Handsome Jack lines...
 
One great one was the Weekend at Bernies incident. We were meant to be interrogating a low-level fixer as to the whereabouts of a stolen military arms/hardware cache. Admittedly we had planned among ourselves to rip off the Corp who gave us the job, and keep what we wanted. Unfortunately, BoBo (Who from memory had a Rep of 7/7 for being both a hardass martial artist and cybered goon, and for being as smart as pie.) decided to threaten him with a needlegun full of neurotoxin-laden darts. And wildly gesticulated in character, so the GM made him make a roll to see if he fucked up... He fucked up... He always fucked up...

So there we are, with our only solid lead dead as a post, a Corp from Arasaka breathing down out necks, no chance of getting the cache in time to use it for defense/leverage... But, we did know that this fixer was highly valued by several small outfits around town, and we had his phone...

Cut to a montage of retarded glory, as we haul a fresh corpse all over the city, using puppetry skillchips, audiovox's with recordings of his voice, and doorstop hostage-negotiations to hit active edgerunner groups for money, gear and, in one case with a very broke outfit, took their clothing and music collections. All the while trying not to laugh.

In the end, we still got wiped (almost to a man) by an Arasaka strikeforce. The GM then let us know that we wouldn't have fared much better had we found the stash, as it had already been picked over by the time we found the fixer. Oh, and the only survivor? Fucking BoBo. Three characters of mine died alongside that mouthbreathing twat, before I finally made a character with the express purpose of (justifiably) murdering that prick... Good times...
 
Ah the memories... of how I wished that me and my friends would play this game back in the day... and for many years to follow... ... ... XD
 
SPOILER ALERT!! This contains spoilers from the TV show Dollhouse as well as the comic books.

DISCLAIMER!! The part of this that is not covered in the show or comic are just things I came up with for my game. I do not have any affiliation with Joss Whedon and none of what I made up is canon.

My second TPK. I am running a game now based in the aftermath of Dollhouse.

The players started off playing characters based on themselves. After the call where most of the world was driven mad, including one of the original characters. The remaining characters made their way to a small town north east of Dallas. Along the way two of the characters encountered two humvees that shot up a car on the interstate then started chasing them. They wound up with one of the humvees thanks to an NPC. From the NPC they found out that the national guardsmen had gone mad as well. This NPC met up with them later then abandoned them when they encountered another group of NPCs that were better equipped and organized. The group had a doctor and were planning to leave the Dallas area for somewhere safer.

The other character passed a hospital that was occupied, and a gun store that had been looted. The messed around for almost a week looting houses. In one house they encountered a man who warned them to stop advancing. Instead of talking they killed him and his family. A helicopter was scouting the area, attacking people and other national guard units. From Dallas they hear gunfire, explosions, and other sounds of mayhem. It is odious that Dallas is a warzone. As they are roaming around looting and looking things over they cross the interstate several times. Each time they approach the interstate or a populated area I have them make a luck roll. One time while they were on the interstate they were spotted by a helicopter spotted them. The copter chased them into a subdivision, destroying their vehicle and wounding them. Another time they barely avoid a military caravan.

I placed an NPC in game to give them some background. One of the copies of Ivy somehow got diverted to Dallas. From what Ivy said they decide they need to go to LA.

Having decided this they determine that the best way to get to LA is down the interstate, straight through Dallas, Fort Worth. By the way, the character that had a wife and children sent his family with the group of NPCs I mentioned earlier. Several luck rolls later they fail badly and run into a detachment and are killed.

Did I not do enough to make it clear that the interstate was a bad idea?
To me it seems like the players are not paying attention or thinking about what the characters are doing. It is possible that I am biased though.
 
Let's see...

My Rockerboy

I met my actual RL wife while playing Cyberpunk when are characters met I discovered that her ATT was 12 so when our characters were being introduced instead of a normal introduction I made the following statement :

"Will you marry me?"

Her character replied:

"Are you RICH?"

I replied:

"Not...yet..."

She replied:

"Well then, not...yet ."

My Dancer/Prostitute

My fondest memories was when I temporarily retired my solo and decided to play a Dancer/Prostitute. I was entered in the game by being "won" by the Fixer in the group. I remember the team had a knack for intimidation and physical violence to gather information. So it was fun using my character's skills to gain information without cleaning up a massive mess.

Another memory from that character is when I dropped some loser gang leader in the Zone. One of the other gang members asked me if I was a solo.
I said "No I'm just a gigolo sucker...you think I'm badass you should see our solo!"

My Solo

I remember the Slow Boat from Chiba adventure where you fight the Eurosolo who had two cyberlegs and was some kind of kicking-fiend . The job required you to sneak onto his yacht. Our team made a really bad move and split up. I remember after waiting for Trauma Team showing up after our Fixer got most of his face blown off searching the rest of the boat to find our teams "Eurosolo" (who had a 10 in Combat sense but on average of 4's in every other Solo-based skill) getting his ass kicked by the NPC Eurosolo. I shouted out to the opponent, he tried some flying kick the Ref allowed me to use my martial arts to simply hurl him overboard with his own momentum. The Ref rewarded me with a huge bonus to my Reputation which actually sucked after awhile getting challenged by every booster, wannabe solo and corp security guard for awhile.

Recent Referee Moments

As a Ref at the moment I am running a game in which two of the players have never played Cyberpunk before. A few games ago I turned New Orleans into a smoking crater. As the players (who were just out of the city limits saw the explosion. As the dust began to settle and after I described the massive destruction as the players attempted to roleplay their shock one of the players yelled OMFG! while padding his chest like he was looking for something. Then pretended to find his pack of cigarettes and turned to everyone else who was looking at him and said "Oh never mind...it's all good!"
 
Let's see...

My Rockerboy

I met my actual RL wife while playing Cyberpunk when are characters met I discovered that her ATT was 12 so when our characters were being introduced instead of a normal introduction I made the following statement :

"Will you marry me?"

Her character replied:

"Are you RICH?"

I replied:

"Not...yet..."

She replied:

"Well then, not...yet ."

My Dancer/Prostitute

My fondest memories was when I temporarily retired my solo and decided to play a Dancer/Prostitute. I was entered in the game by being "won" by the Fixer in the group. I remember the team had a knack for intimidation and physical violence to gather information. So it was fun using my character's skills to gain information without cleaning up a massive mess.

Another memory from that character is when I dropped some loser gang leader in the Zone. One of the other gang members asked me if I was a solo.
I said "No I'm just a gigolo sucker...you think I'm badass you should see our solo!"

My Solo

I remember the Slow Boat from Chiba adventure where you fight the Eurosolo who had two cyberlegs and was some kind of kicking-fiend . The job required you to sneak onto his yacht. Our team made a really bad move and split up. I remember after waiting for Trauma Team showing up after our Fixer got most of his face blown off searching the rest of the boat to find our teams "Eurosolo" (who had a 10 in Combat sense but on average of 4's in every other Solo-based skill) getting his ass kicked by the NPC Eurosolo. I shouted out to the opponent, he tried some flying kick the Ref allowed me to use my martial arts to simply hurl him overboard with his own momentum. The Ref rewarded me with a huge bonus to my Reputation which actually sucked after awhile getting challenged by every booster, wannabe solo and corp security guard for awhile.

Recent Referee Moments

As a Ref at the moment I am running a game in which two of the players have never played Cyberpunk before. A few games ago I turned New Orleans into a smoking crater. As the players (who were just out of the city limits saw the explosion. As the dust began to settle and after I described the massive destruction as the players attempted to roleplay their shock one of the players yelled OMFG! while padding his chest like he was looking for something. Then pretended to find his pack of cigarettes and turned to everyone else who was looking at him and said "Oh never mind...it's all good!"

Sweet, my favorite two are the wife story and the cigarettes, though the whole overinflated rep issue is one I've faced before. The street has a was of adjusting these things to suit reality...
 
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