My Christmas gift to the mods; their 2014 astrological charts
I'm a legitimate astrologist. As a Christmas gift to the moderators, whom I hold dear, here are my forecasts for 2014, at no charge.
MM360:
The constellations have it that next year you will leave CDProjekt. The desire to pursue your true passion and make a career out of it has bloomed after you pole danced in leopard shorts while lip-singing to Liza Minnelli. It really impressed those Japanese investors and they will take you under their wing back in underground Kyoto. Says here you’ll take on «Kit Kathy» as stage name.
gregski:
Pluto is on your house of Leprechaun throughout 2014. Finances will get shaky and you’ll be forced to play the banjo at gipsy weddings in exchange for suckling pig sandwiches. You’ll grow to hate suckling pig. To blow off some steam, you will lock a record number of threads around here.
*Tommy*:
You being a Libra, Tommy, I can tell right now that sometime around Spring you’ll sprain an ankle while fleeing the police. You shan't get busted but will make it into Polish national TV, which is worse. That evening your mother will prank call you.
dragonbird:
Splendid news! You’ll marry again! For all Gemini, Venus is in slow transit till August, when it comes to a full stop. That could not be more auspicious, really. The groom is a Muay Thai fighter who’s good with fizzy cocktails and floral arrangements. Sadly, you will catch him in the act with Wichat the day before the ceremony. So not to let all that buffet food go to waste, you’ll marry a retired Tupperware rep on the spot. And a happy married life awaits you dragonbird, under his no-furry-pets house policy.
Secondchildren:
Hard to tell. Very little comes up for you. I see a bunch of paperclips, a yellow suction cap and two nights at a roadside motel. Honestly, I have no idea what to make of it.
Guy N'wah:
This celestial alignment is unlike anything I’ve seen before. Big changes lie ahead. You’ll undergo a spiritual crisis, a cleansing process which will have you questioning every single aspect of your life and submitting your resumé to Microsoft Windows UI division. But you’ll end up handing the position down to a Mongolian girl with bracelets. Forsaking everything, you’ll likely relocate to the woods. There you’ll lead the frugal life of an aboriginal Australian, eating off whatever Nature and takeout delivery have to offer. You will hunt game, like, say, parrots, sometimes ordering extra Aioli from Taco Bell. You will let your underparts dangle freely in the wind, like real men do, and spend the evenings by the bonfire coming up with crosswords you’ll then submit to the Washington Post at twenty cents a quiz. Finally, realizing it’s not the wilderness but the local park you've conquered, you’ll gravely climb up the playground slide, and give your forever famous speech «The green filter fucks up Novigrad».
These are genuine predictions based off on astrological DRM-free software for Linux, not the fake shit gaming journalists forge on their day off. But I guess when one appreciates the mods the way I do one is willing to go the extra mile.
Merry Christmas and a happy New Year everybody!
I'm a legitimate astrologist. As a Christmas gift to the moderators, whom I hold dear, here are my forecasts for 2014, at no charge.
MM360:
The constellations have it that next year you will leave CDProjekt. The desire to pursue your true passion and make a career out of it has bloomed after you pole danced in leopard shorts while lip-singing to Liza Minnelli. It really impressed those Japanese investors and they will take you under their wing back in underground Kyoto. Says here you’ll take on «Kit Kathy» as stage name.
gregski:
Pluto is on your house of Leprechaun throughout 2014. Finances will get shaky and you’ll be forced to play the banjo at gipsy weddings in exchange for suckling pig sandwiches. You’ll grow to hate suckling pig. To blow off some steam, you will lock a record number of threads around here.
*Tommy*:
You being a Libra, Tommy, I can tell right now that sometime around Spring you’ll sprain an ankle while fleeing the police. You shan't get busted but will make it into Polish national TV, which is worse. That evening your mother will prank call you.
dragonbird:
Splendid news! You’ll marry again! For all Gemini, Venus is in slow transit till August, when it comes to a full stop. That could not be more auspicious, really. The groom is a Muay Thai fighter who’s good with fizzy cocktails and floral arrangements. Sadly, you will catch him in the act with Wichat the day before the ceremony. So not to let all that buffet food go to waste, you’ll marry a retired Tupperware rep on the spot. And a happy married life awaits you dragonbird, under his no-furry-pets house policy.
Secondchildren:
Hard to tell. Very little comes up for you. I see a bunch of paperclips, a yellow suction cap and two nights at a roadside motel. Honestly, I have no idea what to make of it.
Guy N'wah:
This celestial alignment is unlike anything I’ve seen before. Big changes lie ahead. You’ll undergo a spiritual crisis, a cleansing process which will have you questioning every single aspect of your life and submitting your resumé to Microsoft Windows UI division. But you’ll end up handing the position down to a Mongolian girl with bracelets. Forsaking everything, you’ll likely relocate to the woods. There you’ll lead the frugal life of an aboriginal Australian, eating off whatever Nature and takeout delivery have to offer. You will hunt game, like, say, parrots, sometimes ordering extra Aioli from Taco Bell. You will let your underparts dangle freely in the wind, like real men do, and spend the evenings by the bonfire coming up with crosswords you’ll then submit to the Washington Post at twenty cents a quiz. Finally, realizing it’s not the wilderness but the local park you've conquered, you’ll gravely climb up the playground slide, and give your forever famous speech «The green filter fucks up Novigrad».
These are genuine predictions based off on astrological DRM-free software for Linux, not the fake shit gaming journalists forge on their day off. But I guess when one appreciates the mods the way I do one is willing to go the extra mile.
Merry Christmas and a happy New Year everybody!
