Happy New Year! With totally accurate predictions for CP 2077 vol 2

So this is a bit late and is far lamer than for 2022 but decided to post this anyway, since there's not so much happening.

So 2023 will be great year for CP 2077 with upcoming expansion and all since it's just so tiring when people get trolled by fake leaks from where ever, here is another take on "why not just make up our own fake shit?"

CP 2077 skill system got major work done in 2022 with Ninjitsu but there's more to come. Due to overwhelming community activity to have more CP 2077 / tabletop roleplaying like features expansion comes with one more skill for players to customize their character. V will have entirely new skill called: Baking

Studio came up with Baking skill to meet multiple lacking features in CP 2077 role playing game aspects.
- It engages the community. Lot's of people will start finding use for said skill (it absolutely have no any use in game, actually it even cannot be used) but there will be multiple suggestions how it should be used, so this will bring community together if not for anything else, but to get to each others throats about what is role playing game, so they are communicating!

But that's not even the best of it! Baking skill feature goes far beyond that in emulating real tabletop role playing experience.

- People can meet in discord or real life places and discuss about the Baking skill and perhaps have some snacks, then talk about sports or movies and stuff and socialize, without ever needing to play CP 2077 video game or CP Red tabletop game and socialize like that and say they are role playing. Role playing a role player? Look ,this shit didn't make any sense for me when I read about this back in the day in Mass Effect forums and I'm not any wiser today, so let's just CDRP do what they do. Baking skill is very important feature.

Seizing the potential from 1.5 patch.

Romance is something that is very often discussed on forums and CDPR added some new SMS conversations in 1.5 patch between possible partners and V. While something like perhaps female V's also getting messages from Panam about tank ride that never happened and shower pics isn't like weird at all and all the so conveniently timed messages related to certain events aren't like infantilizing as heck, community will sees a lot of potential in these and presto! CDRP came up with something to use that potential.

There will be more interactions with V and Panam and this time it isn't limited to just SMS conversations but Panam will visit V's residence and during last stages of story there will be a cinematic conversation between them where Panam so sympathetically explains that considering V's state and how things may affect V's health while searching for cure, she has something for V to preserve some dignity even if V is in very bad state. Diapers.

So she goes on about how V can in best case even fight without worrying about some embarrassing distractions due failing health and there's more. If player manages to go though very specific dialogue path in the Sun and the Star endings there will be even more content with Panam which is about baby powder, so unlocking the potential results new interactions and absolutely best outcome will be diapers and baby powder.

Speaking of that: There's some cut content too like Elvis has left the building

No, it's really about Adam Smasher's past. Players will get access to one occasion when even Adam Smasher lost his psychopathic grip and almost showed something like emotions.

Via very rare security footage from the past we get to see Smasher during time when he using southern access and used his Raven Microcybernetics Gemini full body conversion to look exactly like young Elvis. In this recovered footage V witness at first banal act of Smasher removing waste tank from body and pouring its contents in toilet seat, flushing and slapping waste tank back into his cybernetic body. Smasher then moves to face the mirror to admire his looks and see if hair is like it's supposed while humming "...caught in a trap, I can't walk out" (it's up to audience to wonder why he left out "we" as there's no evidence if Smasher ever visited in Thailand) so something very banal indeed, except then something happens.

From security footage that is still capturing the toilet, we can see that behind Smashers back something comes up from the toilet seat. Observing further it appears to looks like a brown hamburger with tiny legs and hands that helped it to blind to stand on the ring of toilet seat. It looks like hamburger made of poop and then buns open and there is this poop beef as tongue we can see when it makes some fake coughs for attention, and when Smasher turns to look what is there, it exclaims: Shit has left the Smasher! and then dives back into toilet and disappears.

CDPR animators went through extra effort to capture this one and only known lore moment when Smasher almost looked like a human with his mouth open What the Fuck stare which lasted almost one and a half second, before he called Raven Microcybernetics support just saying he needed a full sensor check right as he was experienced some really weird shit.

But unfortunately that legendary WTF stuff is all cut content as story line was about how poop was not malfunctioning sensors (it wouldn't show up in security footage if it were) but Smashers waste was possessed by some wizard in the Witcher universe and footage was building up for Cyberpunk 2077 / Witcher cross-over. What a shame that didn't happen as multiverses are so much potential for infinite story loops where nothing gets resolved ever.

While many of you may cry yourselves to sleep due loss of this potential epic story spanning over two universes, there's still this one expansion probably coming for real in 2023 to enjoy. Happy new year for all Cyberpunk fans!
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You write "poop" and "happy new year" in the same post ?
Surprising combination of words :D
Hey come on, one thing is about predicted cut content, other is wishing happy new year. One thing might be reference to traps, other is wishing people to have a good time when expansion arrives. These all can co-exist in the same post. :smart:
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