They said extensive character creator many, many times. They kept saying there was more to show when you start the game. So they acted like there were things hidden. You can't say extensive willy nilly. When games in the past have better stuff. You have to directly state your character creator is basic. Because the world doesn't automatically think: An advance modern game will have less features than gamess done 6 years ago.
They said deep customization system and always paired that up with talking about your lifepath, the CC, and your starting abilities. Saying that is or is not extensive or deep is subjective.
Also, while it's fun comparing games to those of old, it's pointless. Yes, we would always want to see more and better customization but honestly? It's hard, and it's extremely hard to balance when there are so many moving parts. And overall I haven't been impressed with character creators for long time. The best one would probably be Saints Row 2 for me, followed up with maybe ABP. The pattern that I'm seeing for a lot of games is they look better, but the CCs just aren't getting better and offering the same + extensive customization. Saints Row 2 has a superior customization system compared to Saints Row 3 and 4. SR 3 and 4 had to trade in customization options for texture and graphical improvements.
I learned a long time ago to curtail my expectations for CCs, especially if there is not a trailer specifically dedicated to showing off the full CC.
What you call "letting your expectations and assumptions run wild" I call deceptive marketing, and why would anyone assume you can customize your genitals but not the rest of your body? What sense does that even make? Not to mention this was supposed to be the new generation of open world games.
Because they are providing you specifics. I didn't assume I would be able to customize my fingernails just because we could customize our genitals, yet here we are. I also didn't assume we would be able to customize our limb length, or height, or weight, or anything else because I understand how hard it is to create models for those, then ensure that all clothing, and animations fits all of those different things correctly, and they never said I would be able to. Don't run wild with assuming what you can do and then claim they lied to you. No, you heard something and assumed, with no actual confirmation, that you would be able to do that.