Then I probably should just accept that the game is not for me. Not anymore.
The thing is, the endings and story have much more nuance to them than what you are saying. I'm sure you are aware of them.
The use of soul killer for example a huge red flag for me because the game doesn't explain properly what effect would it have on V. It didn't do a good job in seeling it as a valid solution.
Tbf... I am really just trying to wind down after being let down by the game and move on from it. I suppose Baldur's Gate 3 will be more along the lines what I wish from an RPG.
I dont think to much on it, i sit, i play and i enjoy and just take whats giving to me, every game i've played theres inconsistencies in writing, lore etc etc and i've no doubt theres as much here.
I dont take Alt on its word, nor Johnny, to me Alt will probably turn out to be the "big bad" i feel it is and for me not everything needs explained, what i was shown was enough and what i was shown was V finally happy and then a message from Misty (who the game repeatedly tells you is never wrong and proven not to be) doing a last reading saying V lives a long life.
It's no perfect, nothing ever is, theres changes i'd make and i'd still prefer a ending which is a tad different, but it is what it is and i can work with it, aswell as the others, to play characters through the game and be, if not over the moon, satisfied with how i leave them.
I was never one for hype so i was never really let down, just frustrated by bugs and the initial "end" i had chosen, but the more i played and the more i read, listened and explored the dialogue the more i liked the game. It's no perfect by a big margin and could've been left to cook awhile longer but whats there i enjoy and hopefully if there giving the time to flesh the world out, build on the characters and yes maybe even expand upon the end hopefully you'll enjoy it to, so that said maybe the best course of action for you personally is put it down and pick it back up at a later date, theres no shame in it and if it means you finally get to play the game you wanted then ultimately it was the correct choice