Please rant away at your heart's desire!
I made a very similar post a few days ago before starting to post here and it had pretty much exactly the same thing in it as what you just wrote. You just put it more eloquently.
I went through the same steps, minus finishing all the side quests since I wanted to get rid of Jhonny. And I had the same ending as your first one. And I left with the same feeling. Except for me my romance (Kerry) wasn't even something that I cared so deeply since he really isn't my ideal romance choice.
I would have been fine with the outcome, but as you said, there is no closure on our terms. It feels unfair and down right mean from the game for the sake of being depressive.
Oh man, I went through the entire game wondering who the gay male romance was, because even if a character isn't compatible with you they still seem to give you romance dialogue options that result in them turning you down.
But damn, when I found out it was Kerry I was shocked! I don't mean based on the character, because I don't want to presume player preference, I just mean by how far into the story it was! I don't know if there is a way to trigger that any earlier in the playthrough, but for me Kerry's questline was pretty much the last thing I did in the entire game before the end. Going through like 90% of the game without any serious romance option just seems super unfair!
Even if people were happy with the character, I don't think the amount of time you get with them before the ending is balanced at all. And I feel like they're in a really similar place as River, in regards to not wanting to travel with your character out of Night City, but having a 'six months in the mansion' ending without great choice re: emotional exchange/closure.