A middle-aged banker driving thru the country on business blew a radiator hose in his car. The engine over-heated and all the water in his radiator boiled out onto the ground as he pulled the car to the side of the rode next to a quaint and peaceful pond. He was able to repair the hose because all that had happened is the metal clamp that held it to the radiator had rusted thru and broken. He re-attached the hose and used a shoelace to secure it back to the radiator, not perfect, but enough to get him home. The only remaining problem was how to replace the water that had boiled away. Even though he had conveniently broken down next to a pond, he searched high and low but was unable to come up with any container suitable for transfering the gallons and gallons of water he needed. Dejectedly, he began the long process of cupping his hands in the pond and running back and forth to his vehicle before all the water slipped out of his fingers. It did not take long for him to realize this way of doing business was going to take him far into the night. He sat down next to his car to catch his breath and to ponder how much this was going to worry his loved ones when he was so unavoidably late for supper. As he was contemplating the trouble he was going to be in, a rather large and fat frog hopped from his lily pad, swam to the bank, and approached the banker - while standing on his two hind legs like a human being."Pardon me," the frog said, "But might I be of assistance?" Stunned, the banker looked to his left, then to his right, stood up and looked all around when the frog repeated,"I say, Sir, are you deaf? Might I be of assistance?"Convinced he was suffering a stroke of heat from his exertions on this ungodly hot and humid day, but unable to find any other source of the conversation he undoubtedly heard, the banker looked down at the frog and replied "You have me at a disadvantage, My Good Frog, But where I am from frogs do not speak and those that would speak to a frog are not thought highly of. I am ashamed to say, SIr, I would appreciate ANY assistance I could get on this most rueful of days, but as for conversing with frogs, I should not know where to begin.""Might I suggest then, My Startled Good Man, that you inquire as to the whereabouts of a container suitable for transfering the water you need in a timely manner?"Arching (kocking) his eyebrow, the banker evaluated his new acquaintance, and after pausing for a good moment, continued "You might indeed, Sir Frog, but surely you will understand my reluctance to make such an inquiry from a just-met stranger without first inquiring as to the price of such information? Where I come from, such favors are normally accompanied by gold, which as I am a banker by trade would not be a problem, but the unique situation I find myself in makes me wonder if gold is the currency of trade in these parts. Frankly, Sir Frog, though until this day I have not been as pious as I should have been, a sad fact I intend to correct at my earliest, I am having uncomfortable thoughts regarding the disposition of my first born, or indeed, my immortal soul.""You keep referring to 'this place you come from'" countered The Frog, "as if that gives you an excuse to be rude and to make assumptions of my character and motives that, as long as we are being frank, I find "distasteful". I have watched your kind pass on this path for years and years and you are the first I have chosen to speak to. Obviously my seniors were right and I have made a bad choice. Over by that second boulder is a collection of jugs that have been thrown into the water by a farmer that traverses this path each year to take his goods to market. Several of them are unbroken and you may find them adequate to the task at hand. Please correct your problem and begone. I find your company less than pleasant despite your sobriety, which is why I addressed you in the first place. None of you has actually been sober as you traveled thru here and I thought you might be different in some way."With that the frog returned to his lily pad and after a bit the banker fetched his water using the moonshine bottles that had been discarded by the boulder. Unable to simply leave without thanking the frog, and ashamed of his behavior and the implications made during his comments, the banker removed his shoes, rolled up his trousers, and approached the lily pad where he could be eye to eye with the frog."Sir, I am ashamed. You have offered nothing but kindness and I have allowed my newness at dealing with talking frogs to reflect badly upon myself and my race as a whole. Please, Sir Frog, I beg you, accept my apology and know that whatever favor you would ask in return for your samaritanism, if it is within my power, it shall be done. I swear it."The frog saw he was sincere and meant what he said from his heart so he confided in the Banker that he was looking for a way to stabilize the depth of the pond so that his people would not have lean years and over abundance years, but some sort of stable environment from which they could plan their existence. They had noticed humans had a knack for a great many things and he risked opening a conversation with the banker to see what could be done ... if anything. Well the banker was overjoyed. He told the frog about dikes and spillways and how his bank was always looking for worthwhile community projects for which to loan money and that he would be most pleased to help the frog in this endeavor if he could but find his way to his bank and sign some papers in his office. The frog told him he would have to clear the plan with his own people but they tentatively planned to meet at the banker's office 30 days hence."If for some reason," the banker added "I am not in my office when you arrive, please speak with my Loan Officer, Patricia Black. I will give her a heads up and she will be expecting you with all the forms that need to be signed. My name is Oldman. And you are? ..." "Croaker" replied the frog, "I. B. Croaker."A month later to the day, the frog appeared in the banker's office and dressed in his finest "Jiminy Cricket" suit and spats and carrying his umbrella under his valise asked to speak to Mr. Oldman or Mrs. Black. Everyone had been briefed by Mr. Oldman, and the frog was soon sitting in front of Mrs. Black's desk answering her questions about his residential address, deed and title to the land for the proposed project and his income. Mr. Oldman was at lunch, but the Loan Officer was obviously upset about something as she was filling out the forms so the frog, being concerned about her happiness inquired as to what was wrong. The Loan Officer explained that as the frog did not have title to the land, a source of income, or any kind of collateral she was not going to be able to approve the loan. The frog asked her what the word collateral meant and she explained it is a thing of value that guarentees the bank does not lose money on its loans. Without hesitation the frog reached into his valise and said he had this gold statue and would that do?The gold statue was merely a gold plated trinket that had fallen off some girl's charm bracelet as she swam in the pond. Mrs. Black put on her best smile even though she knew the trinket would be no where near enough to get the bank to undewrite the frog's loan. She reassured the frog that Mr. Oldman would have to answer that question. As it happens, at that very instant, Mr. Oldman returned from lunch and strode over to her desk to see how things were going. Ms. Black confided in Mr. Oldman her concerns and waited for him to speak, to tell her what to do.The banker reviewed the paperwork, looked at the statue, then the frog and remembered everything that happened just 30 days ago. Without hesitation he turned to his Loan Officer and in his loudest, sing-song voice proclaimed ..."It's a knick-knack, Patty Black ... Give the frog a loan.""Rudolph the Red knows rain, Dear" :wall:Anybody else tells a "shaggy-dog" story ... be warned ... I got 'em a LOT "meaner" than this. :evil: