Bloth's postings are not too difficult for me. I have a friend from Tyneside who can go full Geordie and there's no understanding him.
Geordie moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a sales job.
Mohamed Al Fayed was doing the interviews and asked Geordie whether he had any sales experience?
"Well ah was a canny salesman back in Newcastle, but the firm closed down so ah thought I’d try me luck in London”. After a few more questions Mr Al Fayed decided he liked Geordie and gave him the job.
On Geordies first day on the job he managed to only sell to one customer and after the store was locked up, Al Fayed came down and asked “OK, Geordie how many sales did you make today?”
Geordie said “Ah just selt to the one person Man”. Al Fayed groaned and exclaimed, ” Geordie, our sales people average of 20 sales a day, I thought you said you were good? How much was the total sale?
” Whey aboot 120 grand like” replied Geordie … Al Fayed nearly choked and exclaimed “£120,000 ! what the hell did you sell him?”
“Well said Geordie, forstly ah sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook and then ah sold him a new fishing rod.
Then ah asked him where he was gannin to go’ fishing and he said well probably down the coast, so ah took me chance and told him he would be best off fishing off a boat and escorted him down to the boat department where ah sold him a twin-engine Power Cat.
He then said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so ah took him doon to the car sales room and persuaded him to trade it in for a 4 x 4 Suzuki”.
An even more incredulous Al Fayed said “You mean to tell me…. a customer came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a fish hook, a fishing rod, a boat and a 4×4?
“Why nah man Mr Al Fayed……he actually came in here to buy a box of tampons for his girlfriend, so ah said … Well, since your weekend’s up the spout, you might as well gan fishing”