The Joke Thread

[Draconifors]

Time for some lame jokes.

What kind of music does a blacksmith listen to?

Spoiler

Metal.

Why did a gamer give a PlayStation to a crying stranger?

Spoiler

To console them.

 

[Jesting-Jack]

Time for some lame jokes.

What kind of music does a blacksmith listen to?
Metal.
Why did a gamer give a PlayStation to a crying stranger?
To console them.

*sighs* Draco, Draco. Why dost thou torment us with these cruel jests? They lash at our senses like vicious torturers.

 

[Draconifors]

Why dost thou torment us with these cruel jests? They lash at our senses like vicious torturers.

I did say they were going to be lame. And I even spoilered the answers.

 

[Jesting-Jack]

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron, namely, that he is a blockhead. - Ambrose Bierce

 

[4meg]

I was in the chemist buying some condoms....
Cashier: "Do you need a bag?"
Me: "Nah, she ain't that ugly."

 

[Jesting-Jack]

Guard 1 : One of us speaks nothing but the truth...
Guard 2: ...the other nothing but lies.
Wizard: Ok, I know this, we have to ask...
Barbarian: *grabs his axe and kills the first guard*
Wizard: What the hell are you doing?!
Barbarian: *to remaining guard* Is he dead?
Guard 2: No...
Barbarian: This one liar.

 

[4RM3D]

Barbarian: *to remaining guard* Is he dead?

To bad you've wasted your one and only question for asking for directions.

 

[Riven-Twain]

*grabs his axe and kills the first guard*

Yet another compelling example of why it is far safer to include a bard in your party than a barbarian. Not only can you avoid these impulsive, extrovert episodes, but you'll also save infinitely more gold in taverns.

 

[Guest 3847602]

Yet another compelling example of why it is far safer to include a bard in your party than a barbarian.

Why settle for one when you can have a bardarian?

Spoiler

 

[Sild]

Spoiler alert:

Spoiler

they both lied

 

[4RM3D]

Why settle for one when you can have a bardarian?

Wasn't he the one whose music was his greatest weapons? That is, that his music was so bad everyone was running away?

 

[Guest 3847602]

Wasn't he the one whose music was his greatest weapons? That is, that his music was so bad everyone was running away?

Yup, for example, he almost single-handedly repelled the Norman invasion with power of his music. BAD-ASS

 

[Jesting-Jack]

Why was Cinderella dropped from the football team?

Spoiler

She kept running away from the ball.

 

[ardeathwinggwent]

the girl: which star sign are you?
The guy: spider
The girl: this one doesn't exist
The guy: none of them exist

 

[Nithing]

Something about 30-50 feral hogs idk

 

[Codecypher]

A blonde refused to buy Kia car cause her phone wrote Nokia

Money can't buy happiness, but it's more comforting to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.
And Chuck Norris died ten years ago, the Grim Reaper is afraid to tell him.
Chuck Norris also knows every word in the dictionary except weakness.
God created the earth in 7 days because Chuck Norris allowed him.

 

[4RM3D]

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris jokes? What year is this? 2010? Anyhow...

When Chuck Norris jumps in the water, he doesn't get wet, instead, the water gets Chuck Norris.

 

[KeldornOfLatria]

Let's do Chuck Norris-style jokes for Witcher Characters:

What ist hidden behind Geralt's beard?

Spoiler: Answer...

Another silver sword

 

[4meg]

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."

He replied, "I am on the toilet. Please advise."

 

[Mybrokenenglish]

Female V strong solo build.