Well, I know this isn't perfect...not in format but, I haven't done a screenplay since my college days...god that was nearly 15 years ago.
This is the scene 'fix' I shared a few nights past done in screenplay style. I know the format might be off but, anyway...content right?
I wanted to put it in spoiler tags but it HOSES up the formatting
If you are not interested in this, sorry...
EXISTING CUT:
EXT. VESEMIR'S FUNERAL -- NIGHT
VESEMIR'S Funeral pyre is burning. Ciri has just ran off, GERALT turns back to face the pyre, TRISS is in foreground GERALT'S right.
AVALLAC'H steps into scene next to GERALT
AVALLAC'H
Va fail.
CUT TO:
EXT. VESEMIR'S FUNERAL -- NIGHT
TRISS near fill left screen, crying. AVALLAC'H at GERALT'S side. YENNIFER distant right, arms crossed, closed off. ESKEL far right, arms crossed. All facing fire, red glow reflecting on them.
AVALLAC'H
For those who remain, death should never take precedence over life.
Pay your last respects to your friend. Then we must hold council.
AVALLAC'H turns and leaves just the four in the scene. GERALT looks even more beat and sad.
CUT TO:
EXT. VESEMIR'S FUNERAL -- NIGHT
Close up of VESEMIR's FUNERAL PYRE
FADE TO BLACK:
=====HERE CUT SCENE ENDS=====
What follows would be my suggestion:
Instead of the FADE TO BLACK
====MAYBE THIS=====
CUT TO:
EXT. VESEMIR'S FUNERAL -- NIGHT
Close up of GERALT from waist up, hands clinched at his side. Clearly in pain.
TRISS' shoulder and arm enters frame left, GERALT'S right. TRISS' hand brushes GERALT'S and there is a moment of hesitation. Finally GERALT'S hand grabs TRISS'. The hands lace fingers and they squeeze.
PAN BACK:
TRISS and GERALT turn to face each other, GERALT puts his head on TRISS' shoulder. Her right hand cradles GERALT'S head.
GERALT stands up straight and leans down toward TRISS, pressing his forehead to hers. Holding that for a moment, eyes closed he silently whispers something.
After a moment the two step away, TRISS still holding his hand. GERALT nods to her and she returns it with a nod and a supportive look and sad smile.
CUT TO:
EXT. VESEMIR'S FUNERAL -- NIGHT
Close up of VESEMIR's FUNERAL PYRE
FADE TO BLACK:
END CUT SCENE:
Anyway, this is the kind of thing I've been working on...hope you enjoy it (or simply tolerate it)!